HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO LEAVE A MARRIAGE?

25 Jul 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My wife and I have been married for 27 years. She is a wonderful woman but I feel so bored with my life and with my marriage. How do I know when it is time to go?

–Trying (United States)

DEAR TRYING:

Well, first you might want to have a conversation with her and maybe try couples counseling. If you’re feeling bored with your marriage, it’s quite likely she might be feeling the same way.

Talk together and see what you can both do to cultivate passion, excitement, and a fresh perspective on your marriage and on each other. Try dating each other too. Do fun things neither of you have done before. Take a class together, visit a new place, or buy a tandem bike that you can ride together to explore new places while staying healthy. You may come to know each other in a whole new way when you give yourselves a chance by giving yourself fresh situations, new environments, and novel stuff to do and discuss together. You both have probably evolved in ways you don’t even recognize and this is a great chance to get to know your new selves with fresh eyes.

Also, keep in mind that when you were first dating, you worked to get to know each other and you made plans to do fun things together. That’s got to continue. Every relationship needs work to maintain it and to help it grow and thrive.

Finally, if you feel bored with your life, you’ve got to start by addressing that. Once you feel stimulated in your own life (your hobbies, interests, learning new things, pursuing your dreams), that stimulation and enthusiasm will likely spread into your marriage.

I wish you much enjoyment of the rediscovery of both who you are and who your wife is and who you are as a couple in the present moment.

HOW TO TRAVEL THE WORLD

07 Apr 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am longing to travel the world but have no money, even really to go anywhere nearby. Do you have any suggestions for how to make this happen?

–Gypsy at Heart (Canada)

DEAR GYPSY:

Even if you don’t have funds, start saving 10% of any money that comes in and start putting together a travel fund. Don’t touch it until you have enough to take a trip. You’ll be surprised how it adds up over time.

There are ways you can do it cheaply—hostels, camping, trading places with friends in other locations, or www.couchsurfing.org.

In the meantime, go to your local library and read books about other cultures and regions and time periods and countries. You can also do the same with Netflix or some other movie subscription, allowing yourself to visit other places through film and literature and art.

A third thing you can do is to set your space before you go to sleep, intending to visit other places with your astral body. Doing it this way, you can even travel beyond this galaxy or dimension! When you wake up, write down anything you remember. Over time, you’ll probably remember more and more from your astral visits.

Happy travels!

 

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