I’m on all these PTA committees and church committees and other charity and community organizations. I’ve been volunteering for years. Lately, however, I’ve lost interest in all these activities and am feeling cross about any and all of it. What is going on?

–Becoming a Curmudgeon (United States)


Honor your feelings. Either take a sabbatical from all of your volunteer responsibilities or quit them entirely. It sounds like you need to get more in balance, spending time on yourself and your passions and hobbies instead of having all of your energy going outwards to everyone else.

Doing this will help keep you healthy and in balance, and make you even better at whatever activities you decide to volunteer with in the future, should you decide to return to any of your previous commitments. It will also create space for you to do what you want and that might end up helping even more people in an even more effective way.

Give yourself a chance to do what you want and see what happens to your perspectives and interest. You might find this leads you in a whole different direction full of new adventures and delights.

NOTE TO READERS: I invite you to write in with your own questions either in the comments section or by emailing askdalimama@gmail.com.




At this point in life I have a weak resume, no real connections and all I’ve done for the past eight years is send out resumes to nonprofits, which I’d eventually like to work in, to no avail. My plan B has always been to just work for a college but it ALL seems so ho-hum. Do you have any suggestions as far as bringing something about easily–I’m pretty tired of trying to figure it out and going that route just makes everything seem hard and a little pointless. Am I apathetic or what?

–Ann (United States)


I understand the challenges of seeking work during this time in the United States. Don’t just send out resumes as many jobs are not actually filled solely through the standard resume route. Only target places you really want to work for. Find a place that does work you’re passionate about and, if you can, volunteer a couple hours a week so they can get to know you.

Another target maybe five top places with causes that you want to champion and call the person who is in charge of the area you are most interested in and talk to them. Tell them your skills, your experience, ask how you can help, and ask if they can meet with you or at least have a chat about how you can get in at their organization. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

Once they know you and what you’re capable of, they’d be smart to hire you. Even if nothing is available at the time, leave your contact info and keep in touch periodically (maybe a postcard every month or something) and keep yourself in the forefront of their minds so hopefully they’ll contact you when an opening does come up.

Finally, reset the energy of your job search. Go in and HAVE the job you want in the powerful energy that is divinely yours. Don’t go in with the energy of needing a job, like they’d be doing you a favor to hire you, or like a beggar asking for a handout. HAVE the energy of your dream job first, then go in, offering and allowing them the honor and gift of you working for their organization. Once you do this, the energy will start to build.

As far as apathy, apathy is a form of resistance, and resistance can create walls between you and what you’re trying to create. So have enthusiasm and fun in your job search. The human resource people will sense that, even when they’re just looking at your resume.



I really want to meet someone but have been single for a long time. How do a meet someone?

–Lonely (United States)


Start first by loving yourself and creating a life that you love. Focus on the love you have in your life—love of friends, family, etc.

Also think about what qualities you are looking for in an ideal relationship—both big picture and day-to-day details, and create space and energetically invite the right person in to show up for the relationship.

You also might want to make sure you go to places where you can meet people—clubs where you can meet people with common interests, volunteering, and just being out in the world where you can meet nice folks—friends and otherwise. Many people would really like to meet people but don’t actually go anywhere other than work and home where people can get to know them. Maybe also host some parties and you might meet people that come with friends or meet other people when you get invited to parties.

Know that you are love and you will meet the right person in divine timing.



I’m very shy and don’t know what to do. My parents tell me to get over it but I don’t know how. What do you recommend?

–B.R. (United States)


If you feel like your shyness is getting in the way of you making friends, maybe you could start out by volunteering at an animal shelter where you can get a chance to be around people and get to know them while hanging out with beautiful animals and getting to know them as well. Or do something else where you have some specific tasks to do, which makes it easier to start up or join in a conversation. Plus then you’ll be so busy doing stuff, your beautiful spirit can’t help but shine through, words or no words.

Another thing you could do is shift the energy in which you meet or talk to people. Focus more on how the other person is and ask questions to show an interest in what they’re doing. Sometimes we can feel shy because we’re worried about not having anything to say or not being able to say the right thing or worried that people make not like us. Usually, the other person is just as worried about the same thing, so your taking an interest in them will help break the ice and open up a space for communication and developing friendship.

You can also take initiative. When you see someone else that seems shy, take the opportunity to go over and say something to them. You just might make their day. You could also invite someone over (or a small group–start by either inviting one person or three so you end up with an even number of people, which is easier) and have an activity planned, maybe playing Pictionary or watching a movie or playing a Wii game, for example. That will give you something to do and create a fun environment to get to know each other.

Just let your beautiful self shine and keep opening up that space for communicating and relating with others. In the end, you must do what feels right for you and makes you happy.

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