28 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, how to handle a stalker, spiritual advice column, stalker
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My ex-boyfriend has been stalking me for years. I tried to be nice and I have been very clear. Now I am dating someone new. How do I handle all of this? I am afraid my stalker will scare my new boyfriend away. My ex isn’t dangerous but I feel I should warn my boyfriend all the same.
–Stalked (United States)
DEAR STALKED:
Keep logs of all contact and stalking attempts and emails and texts–all of it, complete with dates and documentation. Also make sure (if you haven’t already) to unfriend him on Facebook or block his number and emails. Also file a police report immediately and get a restraining order. Don’t assume your ex isn’t dangerous. If he has been stalking you for years, he obviously does not have healthy/sane boundaries and you never know how the new boyfriend factor might inflame him. It is important to let your current boyfriend know about the situation and give him a photo of your ex so he knows what he looks like and whom to watch out for. If he gets scared off, he’s not the one anyway. If he’s the right person for you, he’ll stick around.
Don’t worry about being nice. The time for niceness is over. You may have compassion for him, but don’t worry about hurting his feelings or being hated by him. You need to make your safety (and your boyfriend’s) a priority.
25 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, animal-rights advocates, ask dali mama, dali mama, environmentalists, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Why do some environmentalists and animal-rights advocates have the worst people skills ever?
–Just Wondering (United States)
DEAR JUST WONDERING:
Well, I know many environmentalists and animal-rights folk who are just delightful but let me say this…sometimes it’s a lot easier to allow yourself to care about the earth or for animals because they tend not be easier to get along with than people.
If you want, just validate that we’re all one and the same and thank these light warriors as spirit for doing the good work they’re doing even if they can be a little rough around the edges. The ability to speak strongly and forcefully and to get their opinions heard might even require some in-your-face people skills once in a while. Validate that their hearts are probably in the right place and that they’re putting their energy to great causes.
24 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, James Van Praagh, mediums, ouja boards, Rosemerry the Celtic Lady John Edward, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Do you think it is safe to play with ouja boards?
–Scared (Canada)
DEAR SCARED:
I would probably not recommend playing with ouja boards. I have known some very strange things to happen to people who were using them, including accidentally bringing in negative energies because they didn’t know how to hold the energetic space.
If you absolutely feel the need to contact a spirit (for example, someone who has passed on like a mother or a grandmother), I would recommend you go to see a trustworthy medium such as Rosemerry the Celtic Lady or John Edward or James Van Praagh. They have been doing the work a long time and have more practice and awareness about the energies they are communicating with, as well as how to keep their energy clean and safe while communicating with various spirits.
23 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, asking someone to join your table at a restaurant, dali mama, eating alone at a restaurant, restaurant, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Is it weird when sitting alone at a restaurant to invite other solo diners to join you? Not as a romantic overture, but just to sit with someone during a meal. What do you think?
–Curious (United States)
DEAR CURIOUS:
I don’t think it’s weird but you might just want to pay attention to whether the person you’re asking seems like they want to be alone or not. You can always offer to let them join you, especially if the restaurant is full and someone would have to wait for a table, and don’t take it personally if they say no. Sometimes people just want to chill out and be by themselves while they’re eating.
If you’re a man, be aware, too, that sometimes people might be wary you’re making a romantic overture even when you’re not.
If you like eating with others, you might want to check out those restaurants that are becoming more and more popular where they have a communal table (or tables) with a bunch of seats and people can just sit down. Or you can try to sit at a sushi bar or a diner counter or something where there are just a bunch of stools and you can start up a conversation with the person next to you if they seem open to it.
Have fun eating and meeting people.
22 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, Christmas, Christmas presents, dali mama, spiritual advice column, trying to find a good present for my mother-in-law
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am dreading Christmas. Every year, I try to find just exactly what my mother-in-law will like but there is always something wrong with it and she either returns it, exchanges it, or simply looks disappointed or dissatisfied.
–At Wits’ End
DEAR WITS:
Some people will simply not be happy with any gift you give them and it probably has nothing to do with the gift itself. Sometimes, when people are not happy in themselves, they look to external things (gifts, external validation, attention, whatever) to make them happy and they will inevitably fall short, even if the recipient derives some momentary happiness from the object.
Perhaps you could simply find a wonderful photo of your husband (current or a past photo with him and his mom) and put it in a beautiful frame. It is the thought and the love in the present that matters most, after all. And if you’re Christian, celebrating the birth of Christ! She’ll probably like it. Even if she doesn’t like the gift, know you did your best and gave an awesome present and let her have whatever reaction she has and pat yourself on the back.
21 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, control, dali mama, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Whenever I have to leave the house, I wonder if I locked the door and I have to go back and check. Or sometimes it’s the stove. Or sometimes I wonder if the house will catch on fire and my cats will be stuck in the house.
–What’s Wrong with Me? (United States)
DEAR WHAT’S WRONG?:
This is actually fairly common. You might want to consult your doctor, though, and see if you might have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or something else. Perhaps you could meditate, too.
Also notice if you feel like certain areas of your life are out of control (work, relationship, health, etc.) and notice if you are trying to compensate and gain control in your life by keeping on top of other things like the door being locked.
Take this opportunity to take healthy steps to have control in areas you can control. For example, if you are worried about money, set up a budget and a plan to build up your finances. Congratulations on these changes you’re making.
20 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, grounding, hobbies, spiritual advice column, stamp collecting
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I’ve been collecting stamps for years. I used to love it but now it feels like a chore but I can’t seem to stop. What is causing this and why can’t I let this hobby go?
–Stumped (not Stamped) (United States)
DEAR STUMPED:
Maybe you’ve just outgrown that hobby. If you no longer love it, maybe you could put it aside for a while. Later on, you can either sell it, give it away to someone who will surely love it and keep growing it, donate it, or take it up again if the fun of collecting them returns. If it feels like an obligation to keep it going, either reset the energy for your own fun or give it a break and give yourself permission to take up a new hobby.
Another reason it might be hard to give up is if you are using it to ground yourself, to perhaps release some nervous energy, in which you might want to do some other grounding things like hiking or gardening or whatever else is enjoyable to you.
Perhaps it feels a little scary to let this old hobby go because it’s become so familiar and perhaps even a part of your identity. This is an exciting time to see what other things you enjoy. Have fun!
18 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, apathetic, apathy, ask dali mama, dali mama, motivation, resistance, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Lately I’ve been feeling very apathetic. I can’t get anything done—housework, or much else. I am not as productive at work lately. I’m not particularly tired. I just don’t feel like doing anything. What could be causing this?
–Slacker (Untied States)
DEAR S.:
Sometimes when our energy is shifting, it can sometimes feel like everything is stagnant and the energy is not moving. Examples of when energy is shifting include when we’re going to make a career change or some other kind of major life change.
Also, apathy is actually a form of energetic resistance. Just let yourself be apathetic for a while and see if the energy shifts more quickly when you give it space to be.
Also, I encourage you to let yourself imagine what really makes you excited. A new hobby, a class to take, travelling to a place you’ve always wanted to go, or whatever really gets your juices flowing. And give yourself permission to explore this new thing, whatever it is.
NOTE TO READERS: I invite you to send your own questions in, either via the comments section or to askdalimama@gmail.com. Also, I might be taking days off now and then the rest of the year as I finish up some projects in the works. Sorry the blog has been a bit sporadic lately.
09 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, dealing with people trying to feed me, losing weight, people who won’t listen when you say no to food, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
How do you handle people who keep trying to feed you when you’re trying to lose weight? I am on a very restricted diet for health reasons, but my family and friends keep trying to practically force-feed me—unhealthy stuff, too, like desserts, pasta, and things generally swimming in gravy and fat.
–Fatty (United States)
DEAR F.:
You need to train them to respect your new eating habits. Don’t go into resistance to them trying to feed you (as most of them are probably doing it out of love). Just politely keep saying, “Thank you but I have had enough.” When they pile food on your plate despite your protests, just leave the food on the plate, untouched. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
08 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, honesty, spiritual advice column, tact, white lies
DEAR DALI MAMA:
What do you think of white lies, like saying you like someone’s cooking if you don’t really? Energetically and otherwise….
–Curious (Canada)
DEAR CURIOUS:
It’s always best to be honest, energetically and otherwise. Honest doesn’t mean you have to say “You are the worst cook I’ve ever met,” but you can be honest while choosing something positive to say. For example, you could say, “I really appreciate the time and effort you took in preparing this meal for me” or “I like the salad greens you used in the salad.” And next time, you could suggest going out or you could make a dish to share so you have something to eat that you like and you could ask them, for example, to get those yummy salad greens they got last time.
Besides which, if you say a white lie, like, “I love these brownies,” the person might be really happy and, thinking you like them, go to a lot of trouble and expense to keep making them for you, which does neither of you any good.
06 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, breaking computers, breaking watches, dali mama, personal energy fields, spiritual advice column, watches
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Is it possible for a person to make things break? Whenever I touch computers, something seems to go wrong with them. Often small things but sometimes big, expensive, irreparable things as well. Am I crazy or could I be the one affecting this equipment?
–Seeming Destroyer of Computers (United States)
DEAR SEEMING:
Funny you should ask. I experience the same thing. Interestingly, I don’t destroy Macs, only PCs. I also used to destroy hot/cold water dispensers and batteries in my healing room until I changed the way I set the energy when I did healings. If you’ve been having trouble with PCs, I suggest you give Apple a try if you haven’t already. For some reason, Macs seem more stable with certain energies, at least for me and some others I know.
I also recommend the extended warranties on any computer you purchase. Oh, and don’t ever go near your friends’ computers if you want to stay in their good graces. Ha ha.
And I know one woman that instantly destroys all watches she comes into contact with (both digital and analog). She has decided to go watchless after breaking enough watches to accessorize troops of time-conscious octopi with places to be, usually within 10 minutes of putting them on her wrist.
Sometimes people’s energy is simply not compatible with certain kinds of machinery. Sometimes, too, there are trance medium energies that can affect machinery as well, including computers. But that’s a whole different subject.
Try switching to Macs and write again if you are still having computer issues.
30 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, complainers, dali mama, negative thinking, people who keep repeating the same things over and over, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
How do you talk to someone that keeps repeating the same things over and over? My brother-in-law has been having all kinds of problems and I try to talk to him and give advice but he’s so negative in his thinking and just keeps saying the same excuses and complaints and I’m so tired of it that I’m not wanting to talk to him anymore or even see him.
–Tired Ears (Canada)
DEAR TIRED EARS:
It can be frustrating talking to someone you are trying to cheer up who is not hearing what you are saying and just keeps repeating negative thoughts. Initially when someone does this, all you can do is listen.
Also, maybe you can validate his ability to get out of it or ask him questions to make him think how he can change this pattern rather than being stuck in it. For example, you could say, “So what is one thing you can do to improve the situation?” If this doesn’t work after a while, maybe you should just save your breath until he is ready to actually hear you or make a positive change.
29 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, introducing your kid to different music, listening to a song over and over, listening to a song repetitively, music lessons, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My kid listens to the same song over and over and over again. It’s driving me crazy. How do I handle this?
–Fed up (Canada)
DEAR FED UP:
Some people like to immerse themselves in certain music before they move onto the next song or kind of music. Your kid might be one of those people. Eventually, your kid will switch to another song.
Perhaps you could help the process along by taking your kid to different concerts (some towns or libraries or music schools offer free performances) or introducing your kid to cool songs of different genres (including whatever kinds of music kids of the same age are listening to) and listening to them together and discussing what you like about each song.
You might want to ask your kid if he/she wants to take music lessons as well. Then, that ability to really listen to a song over and over and practice it and learn it thoroughly may pay off someday, whether for your kid’s enjoyment or a prosperous career in music.
Also, may I suggest headphones? Preferably the on-ear headphones, not earbuds, as that’s probably better for your child’s hearing if he/she is constantly listening to music.
28 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: a vampire, a zombie, advice column, an Avatar, Angelina Jolie, ask dali mama, costumes, dali mama, Day of the Dead, fairy, Halloween, Lady Gaga, makeup, makeup artist, Michelle Phan, space princess, spiritual advice column, sunday share, Tim Buron, Youtube.com
TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE: MICHELLE PHAN, MAKEUP ARTIST
Every Sunday, I feature something cool I come across.
With Halloween coming up (for those in countries that celebrate Halloween or act or have a cool costume party coming up), go to www.YouTube.com and type in Michelle Phan makeup tutorials. She has tutorials on how to to do makeup for Day of the Dead, a vampire, an Avatar, a Tim Burton character, to look like Lady Gaga, Angelina Jolie, a fairy, a space princess, and much more. Michelle Phan is truly a makeup genius.
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