DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am having financial trouble and things are so tight, it’s really scary. I have a part-time job but it doesn’t pay much and I’m still trying to find a full-time job. My question is not about this but that is the back story. I have a friend I went to school with who has such a lot of money—or at least it seems that way to me. She is always taking cruises and going abroad and buying things like $5,000 purses or a new fancy car every year. That’s fine but I get really annoyed because she always says she doesn’t have any money. Clearly that is not the case. Should I say something to her about how I feel when she talks like this?
—More and More Annoyed (United States)
DEAR M.A.M.A.:
If she is really your friend, it is worth it to have a conversation about how you feel when you hear her talk like this. Try to get really neutral first on your own, then start an honest conversation in the vibration of wanting to have a real and authentic relationship with your friend. Perhaps you could say something like, “We’ve been friends for a long time and I appreciate that but I’d like to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me because otherwise it might get in the way of our friendship. Sometimes I feel annoyed when I often hear you say you don’t have any money, but you seem to have money. This probably bothers me even more because I’ve been struggling financially.” See how your friend responds and you can go from there.
The important thing to remember is to be honest and loving, to validate your reality and be open to hearing your friends, and to talk in the spirit of deepening a long-lasting friendship with authenticity.
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