WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

What is the meaning of life?

—G.M. (Ireland)

DEAR G.M.:

That is a huge question that humankind has pondered forever and infinite tomes have been written on the topic. I will bravely do my best to answer what it means to me in a few paragraphs, however.

I believe that this planet offers us extraordinary opportunities to learn certain lessons in our life. We may specialize in certain areas (like learning how to express ourselves, learning how to manifest, etc.) but there are certain lessons many of us are learning common to humankind.

For me, life offers us learning opportunities, a chance to, over and over again, become more of who we are as children of God, in all our divine glory, love, wholeness, beauty, and power. One of these greatest lessons is love—the understanding that we are all one and that we can create so much more with love than we can when we try to create out of fear or separation. Love is one of the greatest lessons, one of the greatest teachers, and ultimately, I believe, the meaning of life—to learn how to love truly, including loving ourselves, and to understand that we are all love and to learn how to be love amidst all the distractions and illusions of the world.

As always, I welcome any comments from anyone. I would love to hear what life means to all of you. And, of course, I welcome any questions on any topic, which you can send in the comment section or email to askdalimama@gmail.com.

HOW TO GET OVER SHYNESS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I’m very shy and don’t know what to do. My parents tell me to get over it but I don’t know how. What do you recommend?


–B.R. (United States)

DEAR B.R.:

If you feel like your shyness is getting in the way of you making friends, maybe you could start out by volunteering at an animal shelter where you can get a chance to be around people and get to know them while hanging out with beautiful animals and getting to know them as well. Or do something else where you have some specific tasks to do, which makes it easier to start up or join in a conversation. Plus then you’ll be so busy doing stuff, your beautiful spirit can’t help but shine through, words or no words.

Another thing you could do is shift the energy in which you meet or talk to people. Focus more on how the other person is and ask questions to show an interest in what they’re doing. Sometimes we can feel shy because we’re worried about not having anything to say or not being able to say the right thing or worried that people make not like us. Usually, the other person is just as worried about the same thing, so your taking an interest in them will help break the ice and open up a space for communication and developing friendship.

You can also take initiative. When you see someone else that seems shy, take the opportunity to go over and say something to them. You just might make their day. You could also invite someone over (or a small group–start by either inviting one person or three so you end up with an even number of people, which is easier) and have an activity planned, maybe playing Pictionary or watching a movie or playing a Wii game, for example. That will give you something to do and create a fun environment to get to know each other.

Just let your beautiful self shine and keep opening up that space for communicating and relating with others. In the end, you must do what feels right for you and makes you happy.

USE OF THE TERM “PARTNER”

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have come across a few couples that have been together for years that I thought were husband and wife, but when I asked, “Oh, are you so-and-so’s husband?,” they reply, “Well, I’m her partner.” What does that mean? Why do you think some people do not refer to themselves as husband and wife?

–Curious Girl (United States)

DEAR CURIOUS GIRL:

In hetero couples, some common reasons include:

1)    Some people don’t like the roles or stereotypes or energy associated with the term “husband” or “wife,” so they choose to use more neutral terms such as partner, which connotes total equality and also may imply that a relationship is a true partnership on all levels rather than anybody’s version of what that means.

2)    Sometimes people avoid using the terms “husband” and “wife” for legal reasons. If it is important for them to remain separate entities legally, those terms may imply a common-law marriage, which they may not want even if they’re been together a long time.

3)    It beats calling your person  “Sugar Daddy” and “Snooky Babe.” Ha ha.

Thank you for your question, Curious Girl.

SHOULD I ACQUIRE A HUSBAND?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have spent my life as a single female. Mostly, I have preferred solitude. Yet, I have many friends and activities. But I am in my 50s, and as I get older I wonder if it is cognitively healthy for me to spend so much time alone. Should I consider attempting to acquire a husband? I want to do everything necessary to retain my physical vitality and cerebral longevity.”

—Wondering in Quebec (Canada)

DEAR WONDERING IN QUEBEC:

Thank you, dear soul, for making me laugh. I recommend attempting to acquire a husband ONLY if you actually want one. You are obviously a lovely and witty soul and could certainly procure one if you so choose. And someone as intelligent as you can certainly find other ways to retain your physical vitality and cerebral longevity—exercise, extramarital sex, and crossword puzzles, for example. Ha ha. And if you feel like you are spending more time in solitude than you feel is optimal for you, invite friends over for dinner more or spend more time with people.

Seriously, though, although society seems to like to encourage people (especially women) to wed, marriage is not for everyone. There are many forms of love and many forms of family, including the family we create, none of which you seem to be lacking. As you’re still relatively young, a lifetime of marriage for mental stimulation and qi building can seem very long if not for the right reasons—the reasons of your heart’s truest desires.

Wishing you much continued love, energy, and mental acuity.

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