How do you choose between two men, both good men but very different from each other? One is financially stable and responsible and kind and reliable and very intellectually stimulating. One is truly a god in between the sheets and is fun and spontaneous and adventurous. How to choose between such two very different men?

–Torn between Two Lovers (United States)


Well, that is a good question. Can you just have both of them? Ha ha. Barring that option, there are some issues to consider.

First, know that no one human being, no matter how wonderful, can ever fulfill your every need or expectation. That being said, it is important to validate and nurture your own wholeness and to develop the kinds of qualities you are looking for in a mate and to infuse your life with those qualities you wish for.

If you want someone financially stability, have you developed your own solid financial foundation? If you want someone who is adventurous, have you fostered your own sense of adventure? If you want someone reliable, are you reliable for others and reliable for yourself?

Also keep in mind that the sex comprises a comparatively small part of each day and the passion, for many couples at least, doesn’t necessarily burn as hot after a while, along there are things couples can do to keep those fires burning.

You’ll have to decide what your priorities are as you make this choice. One thing to look at is the possibility of bringing in more passion into your relationship with the first partner if that is what you want. Or bringing in more stability (if that is what you want) into your relationship with the second man. Notice too how you feel about yourself when you are with each man. Do you feel more yourself when you are with one or the other? How do each of them push you to grow in each relationship? That being said, follow your heart, my friend.



This is kind of a stupid question. Nobody wants to sleep with me. Women find me really creepy. But I don’t see where I’m any different than my buddies who say the same kinds of things or dress the same way or drive the same kinds of cars or have the same sorts of jobs or whatever the hell else.  But women go off with them and one even told my friend that I am creepy. What do YOU think is going on?

–What the $@C!? (United States)


Congratulations on taking a look at this. Many people would not have the courage to look at this and would simply dismiss it and not deal with it.

“Creepiness” doesn’t really have anything to do with clothes or car or jobs per se although certain things can contribute to a creepy vibe.

Maybe one of the things that is going on is that women are noticing things on an energetic level, which may not even have to do with your own authentic energy.

When I have met people who had a creepy vibe, usually what was happening was one or more of the following:

1)    They were unaware of what their energy was doing and they were cording other people energetically (hooking into their energy and sometimes sucking it sort like an energy vampire) and/or their energy was invasive and not respecting of the other person’s boundaries. In this case, it’s helpful to meditate regularly and keep intending to call all your energy back to you in divine form and intend to release any cords. Also release any anger, any resistance, and any “creepy energy” and any other energy that is not yours and intend to fill in your body and aura layers with your true divine energy.

2)    They had other people’s creepy energy absorbed into and running through their bodies, making them seem creepy. For example, if you’ve been on a fishing boat, cleaning fish or just riding on the boat, you’d probably come home with your body and your hair and your clothes smelling like fish even if you aren’t a fish. Which would require you to take a shower and wash your clothes before you no longer smelled fishy. Fortunately, you can do the same thing with your energy, cleaning off energy that’s not yours, by meditating or getting a healing.

3)    Sometimes people carry around pictures that get stuck on them that they resist and they attract even more pictures in a similar vibration. For example, maybe one day, someone a long time ago told you that you were creepy or you heard them say their were creepy and you resisted that because of course who wants to be thought of as creepy? But when you resist the picture that gets in your space that you unconsciously wear around on your auras, it attracts even more creepy pictures or maybe people just notice the big old creepy picture on you and mistakenly think that you are creepy. Try not to resist being thought of as creepy and just keep validating the beautiful clean, respectful, light spirit you are inside and it’ll act like Teflon for any creepy pictures that happen to be stuck to you.

Have fun developing and seeing and showing the real you.



I have a friend who till relatively recently meant the world to me but I have hugely grown and grown up as a person and I see her more for who she really is now.

I know now that I am easily her equal and no longer need a teacher/counselor (though she’d like to keep me in this position). Then when I look at her side of the friendship it’s based on her trying constantly to get me to use my spiritual gifts for her gratification (though she disguises it as a big need); or dumping her emotional stuff on me and generally trying to get me to her level of being–sad, frustrated, angry, lonely, etc.

On my side of the friendship, I used to get in touch with her when I felt I couldn’t cope with life as my mother never listened so I’ve always turned to other strong women. I need also to change this. How do I feel like I’m enough for myself to be able to cope with the emotional reactions I have without reaching out to others?

I fear her reaction as my mother shows rage and subsequent withholding of love I have been petrified of when I stand up to her. So my friend is a mirror. I want to find the courage not only to speak my truth but to also stand my ground and not shake inside or feel bad. I want to break this lifelong behavior pattern.

Also how do I discover what remains of our friendship when I make changes based on the above?

–M.L. (Switzerland)


It’s great you’re looking at both sides of the relationship as well as what you have to learn from this relationship. That’s an essential skill for any solid relationship.

The most important thing is for you to hold your space and be who you are—a strong woman in your power. Do this and your friend will either rise up to meet you at this new vibration or fall away. Sometimes, too, people have to withdraw for a little while first before they can meet up with you later at your true vibration.

Also, don’t resist any energies as far as her dumping energies on you. She can do that all she wants but it will only stick if you allow it to or if you resist those energies. Just validate your wholeness and love and power and see her as a whole and divine being as well and you can best enjoy her company (or not) while understanding both of you are divine beings in bodies and that you both are teachers in some areas and students in some, as we all are. In spirit there is no competition—no better than or less than, only wholeness and divinity. Keep validating that wholeness in yourself and in her and she can choose to match that more easily in her expression of her spririt in the physical plane.

Note: Readers, I invite you to send in your own questions. You may email them to or write them in the comments section.





What is the meaning of life?

—G.M. (Ireland)


That is a huge question that humankind has pondered forever and infinite tomes have been written on the topic. I will bravely do my best to answer what it means to me in a few paragraphs, however.

I believe that this planet offers us extraordinary opportunities to learn certain lessons in our life. We may specialize in certain areas (like learning how to express ourselves, learning how to manifest, etc.) but there are certain lessons many of us are learning common to humankind.

For me, life offers us learning opportunities, a chance to, over and over again, become more of who we are as children of God, in all our divine glory, love, wholeness, beauty, and power. One of these greatest lessons is love—the understanding that we are all one and that we can create so much more with love than we can when we try to create out of fear or separation. Love is one of the greatest lessons, one of the greatest teachers, and ultimately, I believe, the meaning of life—to learn how to love truly, including loving ourselves, and to understand that we are all love and to learn how to be love amidst all the distractions and illusions of the world.

As always, I welcome any comments from anyone. I would love to hear what life means to all of you. And, of course, I welcome any questions on any topic, which you can send in the comment section or email to

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