Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do I keep procrastinating on what’s most important to me and how do I stop this bad habit?

—Putting It Off Till the Very End and Beyond (United States)

DEAR PUTTING IT OFF:

There are many reasons people procrastinate. Do you put things off that are important to you so you won’t feel as bad if you’re not successful because you put something together with very little time? Are you afraid of success? Are you afraid of failure? Are you trying to be perfect and that need for perfection is making it scary to start something that’s important to you? Do you feel you deserve to have what you will have when you are done? Do you view projects as an enormous project rather than breaking them into smaller, more manageable chunks? Meditate on the reasons you do procrastinate and your awareness will be easier to break this habit little by little.

Try writing down the top three priorities each day and breaking those priorities into smaller, discrete tasks you can do to make it less overwhelming to get started.

Wishing you the best.

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I hear a lot about the “Saturn Return,” but what is that?

—Curious (United States)

DEAR CURIOUS:

I am not an astrologer but I like this link to an article by Molly Hall that explains the significance of the Saturn Return in astrology.

https://www.thoughtco.com/what-is-the-return-of-saturn-206368

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do girls act so girly, especially in large groups?

—A Guy’s Guy (United States)

DEAR A.G.G.:

By “girly,” do you mean giggling or talking excitedly? Or something else? And by “girls,” do you mean “girls” or “women”? I’ll answer for both options.

Both girls and many women tend to run a lot of female energy, which can be very excited or nonlinear or creative or sometimes high vibration. Then you have the added influence of cultural programming or training for both females and males, which may steer them to behave in a more stereotypical way.

Younger boys also tend to run a lot of female energy when they are little until they’ve developed more and unmatched from more of their mother’s energies and start running more male hormones, especially after puberty.

Male energy tends to be more linear or slow or methodicdal but is equally important for a balanced individual.

However, both females and males run both male and female energy at different levels that are appropriate for each individual. You may notice that our levels of running each type of energy may vary according to what we’re doing and how we’re feeling and whom we’re with.

Thanks for the question.

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I’m starting a business. I work at home and I read so much about the need for networking. I am very shy and introverted. How does someone like me network?

—Hiding in my House (U.K.)

DEAR H.I.M.H. :

Fortunately you live in the perfect age for a shy and introverted businessperson who needs to network. Haha. You can take advantage of the Internet with your website and perhaps a facebook or other profile for your business. If you can, if it is appropriate, share a little bit about yourself even for your business website or facebook profile as the energy of story of the person starting the business can be an important draw for your business.

Start networking in person with your family and friends and simply ask them to help spread the word about your business to anyone they know who might benefit from your products or services. Think of networking as a way of getting to know others and letting them know you and start with smaller and local groups. You might also want to look into your local Chamber of Commerce and ask fellow friends who runs their own business to attend with you. That might make you feel more comfortable attending an event for a new group.

Please have fun and be yourself so people can come to know what a jewel you are inside.

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own life. What makes me feel like that?

—Stranger in a Familiar Land (Canada)

DEAR STRANGER:

Feeling like a stranger in your own life can actually be a very positive sign of your own inner growth. When you change, sometimes familiar situations or groups or environments may feel strange because you’re different than the old you that felt comfortable (or sometimes unaware) in those old environs.

Celebrate this feeling of strangeness and use this as an opportunity to view your life from a different perspective and take the opportunity to change anything you’ve outgrown.

Happy growing!

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I sometimes fantasize about other men. I have been married to my husband for more than twenty years and he is a good man but I just feel so bored that I am almost depressed. I have been faithful but I don’t know if I want to or am capable of continuing to be faithful. I am longing for something more than this. Is this all life is? Is this all love is? Even with a good man?

—Wifey (Canada)

DEAR WIFEY:

I applaud the fact that you have been able to stay faithful to your husband for decades. The most important thing to remember is the importance of creating passion for ourselves. That means for your individual life, not just for the marriage, although of course marriages need passion as well. What do you love to do? Do you like to paint, do crafts, write, or travel? Start getting excited about your life in ways that don’t involve some other man. Once your reignite the passion in your own life, it is much easier to build and maintain the passion for your husband.

For the two of you, try switching things up—travel, take a class together on something you’ve always wanted to learn about, eat a new kind of food at a local restaurant, try some new sex positions or tantra, or go camping or take a little trip to somewhere the two of you have never been before. Yeah, it can get old when you’re with the same person for decades but it certainly doesn’t have to and it doesn’t have to stay old. Validate the beauty and the magic and miracle of creating a love and a life with the same person and experiment and see just how deeply in love the two of you can go. No matter how familiar he is to you, or how old hat he may seem, I guarantee there are things about him you will be delighted to discover and explore because no, this is not all that life and love have to offer you.