Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

First, some context. I now live in a remote area with no roads connecting to other towns. I feel I have an almost perfect life. I am part of a community-oriented society. I have good friends whose extended family I play an important role with. The neighborhood kids wave when I drive by. I get a portion of my food from the land which connects me to it and the animals. The people I work with are mostly kind and I make enough money to afford basic living needs as well as regular travel.  They even opened up a small yoga studio recently and I can Skype in to my daily meditation class.

The catch? The only thing missing is the man I am in love with. We are both mid-life. He lives elsewhere. He also has a life similar to mine, “established” with strong foundations.  It has been suggested that he is my twin flame. It certainly feels that way. We met at a conference and we continue to meet in cities other than where we each live. We talk almost daily and when time is available, we can discuss life, the universe and everything for hours. I have never connected with anyone like this before. Everything we read about twin flames is there. We both feel a deep void while we are apart and have a hard time staying in the moment. Instead we count down the days until our next.

My question is: If the opportunity arises either geographically or otherwise, how do I know that it’s worth trading in what I have for something more permanent with him? Should I pursue a change which would alter the existing balance I enjoy?

–Remotely and with Metta, Laicewater

DEAR REMOTELY AND WITH METTA:

Your love for each other sounds beautiful and it also sounds like you’re well-grounded.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider making a change geographically or otherwise not as an either/or proposition but something in between, maybe even an everything/all. You will always be a part of your community, whether you are there or not, and can always return there should you leave for a while and then decide you wish to return. Or you could move but plan to make regular visits or one long trip back to your current home. If you don’t try, you will never know. For me, I’d rather take a risk, no matter what happens, and see what happens than play it safe for fear of change. No matter what happens, it will be a learning experience and you will have some wonderful times plus the invaluable satisfaction of knowing you can reach for the stars. Maybe what you will create can be far better than anything you’ve ever experienced.

Make sure, though, that if you implement some huge changes to your life that you first think about what you want in your new life and set your new life to you and your enjoyment. Don’t just fall into something that someone else has created for himself before he knew you. Think about what you want and the two of you can create something new together that works for each and both of you.

Best wishes to you.