IS BAD TEMPER INHERITED?

06 Oct 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Is a bad temper inherited?

—Hair Triggered and Don’t Like It (United States)

DEAR H.T.A.D.L.I.:

While someone aspects of one’s temperament may be inherited, other factors may play a much bigger factor in the expression of one’s anger. For example, if you grew up seeing one or both parents losing it on a regular basis, you may have some learned behavior about how to cope with and release strong emotions. An added factor may be that you never learned healthy mechanisms for dealing with your own anger in general situations if you were afraid to express certain feelings around your parents as it would have triggered more negative attention from them. In such cases, you may tend to bottle up your feelings and have them explode on you and the people are you at the slightest provocation.

In any case, I urge you to see a counselor regularly or a while to learn anger-management techniques and to learn how to process your emotions. It’s hard work but will be well worth in the end for both you and the people around you.

Congratulations on your courage to look at this.

HOW DO I GET THE DOGS OUT OF OUR BED?

05 Oct 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Animals, Uncategorized Tags:

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I love my wife and love our dogs of which there are many but they are crowding us out of our bed and always sleep in between us, which I am not crazy about. How do I reclaim our bed without upsetting my wife?

—Sleeping with the Dogs (United States)

DEAR S.W.T.D.:

I understand your situation all too well. Haha.

Have you considered putting dog beds on the floor of your bedroom? I have even seen some people make doggie bunk beds for the doggie family members, depending on how many dogs they have.

Let your wife know you want to be snuggling with her at night, not the dogs, even though you love them too! You might have to train the dogs at first to go to their beds since they are used to sleeping with the two of you, but if you are firm and consistent, they should eventually happily adopt to their new sleeping arrangements over time if they are still in the same room with you.

HOW DO I GET SOMEONE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME?

04 Oct 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships, Uncategorized Tags: , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do I get someone to fall in love with me?

—Ready for Love (United States)

DEAR READY FOR LOVE:

I’m going to assume you mean generally and not someone in particular. Let me know if I did not understand your question correctly.

First question: Do you go out of your home where people can meet you? That is very important. I know many people who would like to someone but they are never anywhere (even online) where someone can meet them. You might want to consider going out to places where you can meet people with common interests, whether there is a meetup in film, for example, or a hiking meetup. You can also check your local newspaper classified ads for lectures or meetings on topics of interest. If you are religious or spiritual, go to your local church or synagogue or mosque where you can meet people who might hopefully have values similar to yours.

Also consider the fact that you might want to think about loving people (whether that’s your community or family or specific individuals you are interested in) rather than worrying about getting love. Sometimes we can worry so much about getting love that we forget to love. Haha.

Sending you love!

HOW CAN A GUY TELL IF OTHER GUYS ARE CHECKING YOU OUT?

03 Oct 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Sex, Uncategorized Tags: ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How can you tell if a guy is checking you out? I’m a guy but I feel like sometimes guys are looking at me.

—Creeped Out (United States)

DEAR C.O.:

Well, guys might be checking you out, just as guys check us women out. They may be sometimes but that is nothing to get disturbed about. Notice what you are getting disturbed about. Are you feeling objectified, as we women and people in general often are? Are you creeped out because somehow you are afraid of your reaction to being checked out? That might be something to notice for yourself.

In any case, if you don’t want to be checked out by other guys, just don’t give it any energy or resistance and that energy will just go right through you or slide off of you. If you keep resisting it, you might notice it starts to happen even more. You can’t stop people from checking you out but you have the power to decide how you respond to it and how you let it affect you.

ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER?

02 Oct 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships, Uncategorized Tags: , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Once a cheater, always a cheater?

—? (United States)

DEAR ?:

Sometimes but not always. If someone cheated once or a long time ago, but has been faithful since then, perhaps they will never cheat again. If, however, someone has a long history of being a serial cheater, they are very likely to cheat unless they’ve done a lot of inner work as to the cause of their cheating behavior.

Trust your gut. If you feel that they will likely cheat again and this feeling is not borne out of your own fear or distrust, perhaps it is better to let them go and be with someone you can trust completely.

Wishing you the best.

HOW CAN I FORGIVE?

30 Sep 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships, Uncategorized

DEAR DALI MAMA:

What’s the best way to forgive? I want to be a forgiving person but I just can’t let something go.

—Still Angry (Japan)

DEAR S.A.:

Thank you so much for asking that question. Forgiving someone or something can be challenging indeed. Practice seeing the divine in that person or the divine lessons in a situation. See too the imperfect human or less-than-ideal situation while seeing the divine perfection.

If it helps, think about times when you did things that others found unforgivable and recognize that those things you did were all steps to you learning how to be a better and wiser person.

Thank you for being loving enough to ask this question.

Blessings.

WHY DO I PROCRASTINATE AND HOW DO I STOP?

29 Sep 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do I keep procrastinating on what’s most important to me and how do I stop this bad habit?

—Putting It Off Till the Very End and Beyond (United States)

DEAR PUTTING IT OFF:

There are many reasons people procrastinate. Do you put things off that are important to you so you won’t feel as bad if you’re not successful because you put something together with very little time? Are you afraid of success? Are you afraid of failure? Are you trying to be perfect and that need for perfection is making it scary to start something that’s important to you? Do you feel you deserve to have what you will have when you are done? Do you view projects as an enormous project rather than breaking them into smaller, more manageable chunks? Meditate on the reasons you do procrastinate and your awareness will be easier to break this habit little by little.

Try writing down the top three priorities each day and breaking those priorities into smaller, discrete tasks you can do to make it less overwhelming to get started.

Wishing you the best.

WHAT DOES “SATURN RETURN” MEAN?

28 Sep 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I hear a lot about the “Saturn Return,” but what is that?

—Curious (United States)

DEAR CURIOUS:

I am not an astrologer but I like this link to an article by Molly Hall that explains the significance of the Saturn Return in astrology.

https://www.thoughtco.com/what-is-the-return-of-saturn-206368

WHY DO GIRLS ACT GIRLY, ESPECIALLY IN LARGE GROUPS?

27 Sep 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do girls act so girly, especially in large groups?

—A Guy’s Guy (United States)

DEAR A.G.G.:

By “girly,” do you mean giggling or talking excitedly? Or something else? And by “girls,” do you mean “girls” or “women”? I’ll answer for both options.

Both girls and many women tend to run a lot of female energy, which can be very excited or nonlinear or creative or sometimes high vibration. Then you have the added influence of cultural programming or training for both females and males, which may steer them to behave in a more stereotypical way.

Younger boys also tend to run a lot of female energy when they are little until they’ve developed more and unmatched from more of their mother’s energies and start running more male hormones, especially after puberty.

Male energy tends to be more linear or slow or methodicdal but is equally important for a balanced individual.

However, both females and males run both male and female energy at different levels that are appropriate for each individual. You may notice that our levels of running each type of energy may vary according to what we’re doing and how we’re feeling and whom we’re with.

Thanks for the question.

 

WHAT RESEMBLES DEPRESSION, ENERGETICALLY SPEAKING?

26 Sep 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Energy Techniques, Health, Uncategorized

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My family thinks I’m depressed but I don’t feel depressed or suicidal or self-destructive. What could that be, energetically speaking?

—Not Depressed (United States)

DEAR N.D.:

If you don’t feel depressed, perhaps you are going through a cycle of energetically withdrawing from the world. Cycles like these are important from time to time to allow us to withdraw from structures and roles we’ve been engrained in, giving us the chance to detach from them and emerge with a clearer idea of who we truly are and what is most important to us.

If you start to feel depressed, do go see your doctor just in case something is going on.

If you are going through a withdrawal cycle, enjoy it and mine all the pieces of you that are buried. Enjoy the process of discovery!

HOW DOES A SHY PERSON NETWORK?

25 Sep 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I’m starting a business. I work at home and I read so much about the need for networking. I am very shy and introverted. How does someone like me network?

—Hiding in my House (U.K.)

DEAR H.I.M.H. :

Fortunately you live in the perfect age for a shy and introverted businessperson who needs to network. Haha. You can take advantage of the Internet with your website and perhaps a facebook or other profile for your business. If you can, if it is appropriate, share a little bit about yourself even for your business website or facebook profile as the energy of story of the person starting the business can be an important draw for your business.

Start networking in person with your family and friends and simply ask them to help spread the word about your business to anyone they know who might benefit from your products or services. Think of networking as a way of getting to know others and letting them know you and start with smaller and local groups. You might also want to look into your local Chamber of Commerce and ask fellow friends who runs their own business to attend with you. That might make you feel more comfortable attending an event for a new group.

Please have fun and be yourself so people can come to know what a jewel you are inside.

SUNDAY SHARE: NOONEH KARAPETIAN JEWELRY DESIGNS

24 Sep 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Sunday's Share, Uncategorized

I love Nooneh Karapetian’s new jewelry line, which is powerful, stunning, and spiritual. All pieces are handcrafted. A number of her pieces also include stunning detail work such as Armenian filigree. I got a pair of her earrings and people often stop me and ask me about them in the street. They’re that gorgeous! Check out her new line if you like, even just to admire and enjoy looking at her work: http://www.nooneh.com.

IS THERE JUST ONE RIGHT PERSON FOR EACH OF US?

23 Sep 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships, Uncategorized

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Is there just one right person for each one of us? I think I met that person but blew it. Is this it for me?

—Alone (Canada)

DEAR A.:

Sometimes we may feel like we blew our one chance at happiness with a certain person, but there are infinite chances for us. You might even consider that because it is over with a certain person, maybe they weren’t the “right” person for you—or perhaps they were simply the right person to learn a particular lesson with.

You will meet someone else who is a wonderful match for you when you let go of the energy of holding onto a past love and open space for someone else who is the right match for you now.

Wishing you much love.

22 Sep 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships, Uncategorized

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How can you tell if a woman is interested in you as just a friend or romantically?

—Shy Guy (United States)

DEAR SHY GUY:

That’s a great question as sometimes discerning the difference can be very subtle, and can vary from person to person, and sometimes according to someone’s cultural, family, and religious backgrounds.

If you can, notice how the woman you’re interested in treats the people around her—both male and female, friends and close friends. If she is generally a friendly and extroverted person, it may be a little more difficult to tell but you can still look for little cues. If she is shy or more introverted, maybe she blushes more or seems more nervous or even may clam up. If she is extroverted, does she tend to touch you more than she does her other friends (both male and female)? Or maybe she’ll reach out more to you or ask you to call her or text you a lot just to say hi. You can also scope out if she’s seeing someone by asking her things like how was her weekend.

If she seems open, maybe ultimately you need to just follow your heart and make your interest known by making a romantic gesture like giving her flowers or inviting her on a date, stating, “I’d love to take you on a date,” so there’s no misunderstanding. Even if she is interested in being platonic friends only, she’ll respect you for putting yourself out there and expressing your feelings and you can stand tall with pride for being a man with the courage to follow and express his heart.

WHY DO PEOPLE SAY I’M JUDGMENTAL WHEN I DON’T ACT THAT WAY?

21 Sep 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships, Uncategorized

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My friends have told me I’m judgmental but I don’t feel like I ever act judgmental to them. What’s going on? It’s not just a couple friends who have told me that, but a number of people who have mentioned that to me over the years.

—Worried (United States)

DEAR W.:

I applaud you in looking for the truth in a case where many don’t have the courage to look within to see if something is the truth or not. Because you’ve heard this comment not once but a number of times and because you’re thinking about it, it’s probably a sign that there is some judgment energy to look at within yourself.

Even if you are not judgmental towards your friends, perhaps they have noticed you being judgmental towards others. Most likely, you may also be judgmental towards yourself. Also, people often pick up on not just words or actions, but energies as well.

Oftentimes, we may so in a particular energy that we don’t even notice that this is the case, particularly when we were raised in those energies so we don’t recognize a different way to be until we choose to be conscious of it.

Practice validation and acceptance towards others as well as towards yourself. Have fun doing this and notice if your relationship with others as well as with yourself starts to shift.

Enjoy the journey, friend.

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries