WHY DO I ALWAYS CHOOSE THE SAME TYPE OF “BAD GUY”?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do I always choose the same type of “bad guy”? I do know better and I even recognize them but somehow I always ignore the good ones and go straight for the bad ones. What is wrong with me?

—Woman with Blinders On (United States)

DEAR WOMAN W.B.O.:

The fact that you’re asking this means that perhaps you’re one step closer to ditching the blinders! Notice any energies in you that make you choose a “bad guy.” Are they more exciting to you? Do you feel more special that you can secure a “bad guy”? Do you feel that, on some level, a “bad guy” is all you deserve? Are you worried that you will hurt a good guy if you are in a relationship with one, or that they will somehow be disappointed in you or by you once they get to know you? You might want to examine this through meditation and journaling and then go out into the dating world armed with your self-awareness and make conscious choices to go against past habits and to try dating some good guys. Notice what comes up in you as you’re dating a good guy. Are you wanting to sabotage the relationship? Does fear come up? The more you can be conscious of these energies, the more you can consciously make choices that are for your highest good.

Congratulations on your courage to look at these energies and to make a change in your life!

WHY DOES A HEALING WORK ON ONE PERSON AND NOT ANOTHER?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I’ve had healings and had amazing results and so I sent my husband to get a healing with this woman that really helped me, but he didn’t notice any changes. Why do some people heal and others don’t?

–Wondering (Canada)

DEAR WONDERING:

That’s a great question. There are a number of possible reasons. Here are just a few of the common ones:

1)    Some modalities may work better for one individual or their particular condition at that time than for others.

2)    Sometimes different illnesses or conditions have teachings that a spirit has signed up for in this lifetime and the person may have not yet completed the lessons and is therefore not ready or willing as a spirit to finish the teaching of their condition.

3)    An individual’s beliefs may affect how much they can HAVE the healing. For example, some people can have just as powerful a remote, long-distance healing as an in-person healing, while another person may believe that a long-distance healing cannot be as effective, so they may not allow as much of the healing.

4)    Sometimes different energies, such as fear or resistance, can block an individual’s ability to heal at that time.

5)    With particular conditions, sometimes a healer has to start at a particular point that the individual may not be aware of and something has in fact changed, but the person did not notice or may not notice as the healing process can continue over as long as six months or longer. Sometimes, too, the physical body can only process a little of the healing at that time because processing all of it at once would be too much of a shock for the body.

 

CAN I STAY FRIENDS WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND EX WHO ARE NOW DATING EACH OTHER?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

This is kind of a stupid question. Nobody wants to sleep with me. Women find me really creepy. But I don’t see where I’m any different than my buddies who say the same kinds of things or dress the same way or drive the same kinds of cars or have the same sorts of jobs or whatever the hell else.  But women go off with them and one even told my friend that I am creepy. What do YOU think is going on?

–What the $@C!? (United States)

DEAR WHAT THE:

Congratulations on taking a look at this. Many people would not have the courage to look at this and would simply dismiss it and not deal with it.

“Creepiness” doesn’t really have anything to do with clothes or car or jobs per se although certain things can contribute to a creepy vibe.

Maybe one of the things that is going on is that women are noticing things on an energetic level, which may not even have to do with your own authentic energy.

When I have met people who had a creepy vibe, usually what was happening was one or more of the following:

1)    They were unaware of what their energy was doing and they were cording other people energetically (hooking into their energy and sometimes sucking it sort like an energy vampire) and/or their energy was invasive and not respecting of the other person’s boundaries. In this case, it’s helpful to meditate regularly and keep intending to call all your energy back to you in divine form and intend to release any cords. Also release any anger, any resistance, and any “creepy energy” and any other energy that is not yours and intend to fill in your body and aura layers with your true divine energy.

2)    They had other people’s creepy energy absorbed into and running through their bodies, making them seem creepy. For example, if you’ve been on a fishing boat, cleaning fish or just riding on the boat, you’d probably come home with your body and your hair and your clothes smelling like fish even if you aren’t a fish. Which would require you to take a shower and wash your clothes before you no longer smelled fishy. Fortunately, you can do the same thing with your energy, cleaning off energy that’s not yours, by meditating or getting a healing.

3)    Sometimes people carry around pictures that get stuck on them that they resist and they attract even more pictures in a similar vibration. For example, maybe one day, someone a long time ago told you that you were creepy or you heard them say their were creepy and you resisted that because of course who wants to be thought of as creepy? But when you resist the picture that gets in your space that you unconsciously wear around on your auras, it attracts even more creepy pictures or maybe people just notice the big old creepy picture on you and mistakenly think that you are creepy. Try not to resist being thought of as creepy and just keep validating the beautiful clean, respectful, light spirit you are inside and it’ll act like Teflon for any creepy pictures that happen to be stuck to you.

Have fun developing and seeing and showing the real you.

HOW TO DEAL WITH PAIN DURING SEX

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am 36 years old and have a new boyfriend after having been single for a few years. I find intercourse painful every time and wonder what suggestions you might have. I almost want to give up dating but maybe there is another way.

–Embarrassed (England)

DEAR EMBARRASSED:

Please continue dating. There is no reason this has to keep you from being in a relationship.

Keep communicating with your boyfriend. If he’s the one for you, he’ll understand and work through this with you.

First of all, talk to your doctor or health-care professional to ensure there’s not a physical issue that needs to be addressed. There are a number of possible medical causes for this, so talk to your doctor about possible causes and solutions.

If there are no particular medical conditions, start by experimenting with the following:

1)    Be sure to use condoms and practice safe sex.

2)    Engage in lots of foreplay and wait till you feel completely comfortable and turned on before penetration, and use plenty of lubricant.

3)    When you’re not sexually active and your hormone levels could be changing, it may help to keep everything nicely elastic on your own while you’re single. It’s generally easier to keep things maintained through regular sex (including with yourself even when you are not with a partner). However, you can still get your body used to accommodating something inside of you with yourself or with your partner, perhaps starting with something smaller like maybe a finger, then two, etc. Medical vaginal dilator kits are also available, and you can go up in size gradually, getting your body used to accommodating something inside of you until you can physically enjoy intercourse with your new boyfriend without discomfort.

On an energetic level, release any fear or blocks about intimacy and any energy that doesn’t serve you between you and your partner as well as any fears about being vulnerable or getting hurt. Then reset your sexual space to comfort and ease and pleasure.

Enjoy the journey!

Aside

HOW DO I CREATE A NEW STYLE FOR MYSELF?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am in the process of changing my life. I have been divorced for 12 years and I think I am finally ready to start dating again. I know I’ve let myself dress frumpy all these years since my husband left and I want to create a whole new style but I feel scared. I don’t know why. Any suggestions on how to create a new style?

–Almost Stylin’ (United States)

DEAR STYLIN’:

Congratulations on changing your life. You might feel scared because, by letting go of your old frumpy style, you’re stepping out into the world and allowing yourself to connect with people as a woman who is willing to be seen (and even admired).

Cut out photos from magazines of women whose style you admire. Think about what elements of the styles you like and how you can start to incorporate those elements into your own style.

Next, take the photos of outfits of women who have a similar body type to you and notice what makes those outfits work.

Then, I suggest inviting one of your stylish friends to lunch and asking them if they’d help you pick out some simple wardrobe staples that flatter you. It always helps to have a neutral eye and someone who can guide you to things you might not think of trying on. You might even start by shopping in your closet to see what you have that would work for you. And donate whatever doesn’t. Once you have the basic pieces you need, you can add color and other elements, perhaps even with accessories you already have.

Pick things you feel comfortable in but also allow yourself to go outside of your comfort zone now and then while you’re exploring what your unique style is that both flatters and uplifts you and allows the true you to shine.

Most importantly, let yourself play and have fun expressing your true self through your new style.

Have fun and let yourself shine!

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