21 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, control, dali mama, obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Whenever I have to leave the house, I wonder if I locked the door and I have to go back and check. Or sometimes it’s the stove. Or sometimes I wonder if the house will catch on fire and my cats will be stuck in the house.
–What’s Wrong with Me? (United States)
DEAR WHAT’S WRONG?:
This is actually fairly common. You might want to consult your doctor, though, and see if you might have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or something else. Perhaps you could meditate, too.
Also notice if you feel like certain areas of your life are out of control (work, relationship, health, etc.) and notice if you are trying to compensate and gain control in your life by keeping on top of other things like the door being locked.
Take this opportunity to take healthy steps to have control in areas you can control. For example, if you are worried about money, set up a budget and a plan to build up your finances. Congratulations on these changes you’re making.
20 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, grounding, hobbies, spiritual advice column, stamp collecting
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I’ve been collecting stamps for years. I used to love it but now it feels like a chore but I can’t seem to stop. What is causing this and why can’t I let this hobby go?
–Stumped (not Stamped) (United States)
DEAR STUMPED:
Maybe you’ve just outgrown that hobby. If you no longer love it, maybe you could put it aside for a while. Later on, you can either sell it, give it away to someone who will surely love it and keep growing it, donate it, or take it up again if the fun of collecting them returns. If it feels like an obligation to keep it going, either reset the energy for your own fun or give it a break and give yourself permission to take up a new hobby.
Another reason it might be hard to give up is if you are using it to ground yourself, to perhaps release some nervous energy, in which you might want to do some other grounding things like hiking or gardening or whatever else is enjoyable to you.
Perhaps it feels a little scary to let this old hobby go because it’s become so familiar and perhaps even a part of your identity. This is an exciting time to see what other things you enjoy. Have fun!
18 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, apathetic, apathy, ask dali mama, dali mama, motivation, resistance, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Lately I’ve been feeling very apathetic. I can’t get anything done—housework, or much else. I am not as productive at work lately. I’m not particularly tired. I just don’t feel like doing anything. What could be causing this?
–Slacker (Untied States)
DEAR S.:
Sometimes when our energy is shifting, it can sometimes feel like everything is stagnant and the energy is not moving. Examples of when energy is shifting include when we’re going to make a career change or some other kind of major life change.
Also, apathy is actually a form of energetic resistance. Just let yourself be apathetic for a while and see if the energy shifts more quickly when you give it space to be.
Also, I encourage you to let yourself imagine what really makes you excited. A new hobby, a class to take, travelling to a place you’ve always wanted to go, or whatever really gets your juices flowing. And give yourself permission to explore this new thing, whatever it is.
NOTE TO READERS: I invite you to send your own questions in, either via the comments section or to askdalimama@gmail.com. Also, I might be taking days off now and then the rest of the year as I finish up some projects in the works. Sorry the blog has been a bit sporadic lately.
09 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, dealing with people trying to feed me, losing weight, people who won’t listen when you say no to food, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
How do you handle people who keep trying to feed you when you’re trying to lose weight? I am on a very restricted diet for health reasons, but my family and friends keep trying to practically force-feed me—unhealthy stuff, too, like desserts, pasta, and things generally swimming in gravy and fat.
–Fatty (United States)
DEAR F.:
You need to train them to respect your new eating habits. Don’t go into resistance to them trying to feed you (as most of them are probably doing it out of love). Just politely keep saying, “Thank you but I have had enough.” When they pile food on your plate despite your protests, just leave the food on the plate, untouched. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
08 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, honesty, spiritual advice column, tact, white lies
DEAR DALI MAMA:
What do you think of white lies, like saying you like someone’s cooking if you don’t really? Energetically and otherwise….
–Curious (Canada)
DEAR CURIOUS:
It’s always best to be honest, energetically and otherwise. Honest doesn’t mean you have to say “You are the worst cook I’ve ever met,” but you can be honest while choosing something positive to say. For example, you could say, “I really appreciate the time and effort you took in preparing this meal for me” or “I like the salad greens you used in the salad.” And next time, you could suggest going out or you could make a dish to share so you have something to eat that you like and you could ask them, for example, to get those yummy salad greens they got last time.
Besides which, if you say a white lie, like, “I love these brownies,” the person might be really happy and, thinking you like them, go to a lot of trouble and expense to keep making them for you, which does neither of you any good.
07 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships, Sex
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, counseling, dali mama, honesty in marriage, is it ok to have outside of a sexless marriage, medical issues, sexless marriage, sexless relationship, sexual compatibility, sexual ethics, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am married to a woman who no longer wants to have sex at all. It’s been almost a year. The last time was on our anniversary. Do you think it’s ok for me to have sex with other people under these circumstances? I wouldn’t tell her because it would hurt her feelings but I also feel it’s hurting me to go without sex when she has zero interest.
–Basically a Good Guy (United States)
DEAR BASICALLY:
That is a difficult situation. I suggest that your wife see her doctor to see if there is some underlying medical issue (or some issue from her past) causing her to not want to have sex anymore and that the two of you see a marriage counselor and that both of you might want to see a counselor individually as well to get to the root cause of why she does not want to have sex. This might be emotionally painful at first, but necessary in order for the healing and true change to begin.
Then, after doing everything you can to resurrect your sexual connection, including perhaps taking a tantric workshop together, you both can make an informed decision that is best for you individually and as a couple.
Once you have each tried all you can to salvage and nurture your sexual and general relationship, at that point, you can make a decision together as far as what will work for both of you.
Even though it must be both frustrating and difficult to be in a marriage where your partner does not want to have sex, I would advise you to keep other people out of your marriage even under these challenging circumstances. A lie of omission is still a lie and seeing other people without your wife’s knowledge would introduce deception into the marriage, which is not a good energy for any healthy relationship.
Once you’ve had counseling together and addressed any potential medical issues and tried everything you can to address the cause of the lack of sex, then you and your wife can make a plan together—to concertedly improve the sexual relationship between the two of you (having sex, for starters), for her to possibly consider participating in giving you some kind of sexual relief (manually perhaps) to foster some kind of sexual connection between the two of you even if she does not wish to have actual intercourse, for her to give you permission to have your sexual needs met elsewhere if she does not want to engage with you that way, or for both of you to go your separate ways and find people more sexually compatible.
06 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, breaking computers, breaking watches, dali mama, personal energy fields, spiritual advice column, watches
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Is it possible for a person to make things break? Whenever I touch computers, something seems to go wrong with them. Often small things but sometimes big, expensive, irreparable things as well. Am I crazy or could I be the one affecting this equipment?
–Seeming Destroyer of Computers (United States)
DEAR SEEMING:
Funny you should ask. I experience the same thing. Interestingly, I don’t destroy Macs, only PCs. I also used to destroy hot/cold water dispensers and batteries in my healing room until I changed the way I set the energy when I did healings. If you’ve been having trouble with PCs, I suggest you give Apple a try if you haven’t already. For some reason, Macs seem more stable with certain energies, at least for me and some others I know.
I also recommend the extended warranties on any computer you purchase. Oh, and don’t ever go near your friends’ computers if you want to stay in their good graces. Ha ha.
And I know one woman that instantly destroys all watches she comes into contact with (both digital and analog). She has decided to go watchless after breaking enough watches to accessorize troops of time-conscious octopi with places to be, usually within 10 minutes of putting them on her wrist.
Sometimes people’s energy is simply not compatible with certain kinds of machinery. Sometimes, too, there are trance medium energies that can affect machinery as well, including computers. But that’s a whole different subject.
Try switching to Macs and write again if you are still having computer issues.
05 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Sunday's Share
Tags: advice column, art, artist, ask dali mama, Celia Dickson, dali mama, drawings, murals, spiritual advice column, sunday share, U.K., U.K. artist, united kingdom, wood carvings, wood relief carvings
TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE:
Every Sunday I feature something cool I’ve come across.
Today I’d like to feature artist Celia Dickson of the U.K., whose work is out of this world. Check out her wood relief carvings, wood carvings, drawings, murals and more at www.celiadickson.co.uk.
04 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, is it okay to live together, living together, living together before marriage, living with boyfriend, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My boyfriend and I are going to move in together but my mother thinks it’s a mistake because “who wants to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free?” What do you think?
–Am I Making a Mistake? (United States)
DEAR AM I:
Are you a cow? If so, you’re an extremely literate bovine to be able to write such a clear and concise email. Ha ha.
I say you should do what is right for you. While some people think it’s a mistake to live together before marriage (I’m guessing your mother is worried your guy won’t want to commit if you’re living together), some might consider it a mistake to pledge one’s life and loyalty to someone they’re not sure they can get along with day in and day out over extended periods of time.
Follow your heart, my friend.
NOTE TO READERS: I do free healings the first Sunday of each month. If you would like a free healing that day, email your healing request (with “free group healing” in the subject line) with your name and up to three healing requests to holdinglightproductions@yahoo.com. You may do this every month as many times as you like. I also invite you to send in your own questions to askdalimama@gmail.com.
03 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, facebook, friending old boyfriend, reconnecting with old boyfriend, reconnecting with old boyfriend while married, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I have been married for 21 years to a decent man but lately, I keep dreaming about my boyfriend from high school—sexy dreams. I looked him up on Facebook and saw he has an account but I have not friended him yet. Should I contact him?
–Tempted (United States)
DEAR TEMPTED:
I would advise you not to friend him on Facebook nor seek him out in any other way as long as you’re married to this decent man of yours. If you’re tempted now, how much more tempted will you be once you’re in contact with your old boyfriend, maybe even in regular contact with him. I suggest you not even open that door if you value your marriage and the vows you made.
Perhaps there is a part of you that is yearning for more passion in your life. Maybe it is time to take a tantric class with your husband or go somewhere together you’ve always wanted to go explore together or take up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try.
NOTE TO READERS: I do free healings the first Sunday of each month. If you would like a free healing that day, email your healing request (with “free group healing” in the subject line) with your name and up to three healing requests to holdinglightproductions@yahoo.com. You may do this every month as many times as you like. I also invite you to send in your own questions to askdalimama@gmail.com.
01 Oct 2014
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, creating a fresh start for yourself, creating new rituals, dali mama, getting over a breakup, getting over an old love, making room for new love, moving on after a relationship, rearranging your bedroom, spiritual advice column, switching routines
DEAR DALI MAMA:
How do I move on from an old love? Everywhere I go, I think I see him or people remind me of him or I remember when I was at certain restaurants with him when I’m out to eat.
–Lovelorn (United States)
DEAR LOVELORN:
Moving on from a relationship is difficult but it will get easier with time. Eventually, you can choose to keep memories of the great times you had together and release the memories and energy of the difficult times and of the breakup.
In the meantime, as you’re healing from the breakup, perhaps you can try out some new places (that you didn’t frequent with your old love) and shake things up—meet some new people, join a club, try a new restaurant, catch up with old friends….
You might want to also switch up your routine. If you had certain rituals with your old love, like taking a walk together after dinner, maybe you could go for a lunchtime walk or a walk before dinner. If you spent a lot of time together in your home, you might even want to switch things up at home—get a new comforter or rearrange your bedroom slightly so it has a different feel to it, signifying a new beginning and a fresh start for you and making room for new love in your life. Also it might be great to get rid of old momentos from the old relationship (photos of the two of you from the wall, for example), or at the very least, to put them in storage somewhere you’re not going to see them all the time.
Validate your ability to love and know that love will come to you again.
30 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, complainers, dali mama, negative thinking, people who keep repeating the same things over and over, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
How do you talk to someone that keeps repeating the same things over and over? My brother-in-law has been having all kinds of problems and I try to talk to him and give advice but he’s so negative in his thinking and just keeps saying the same excuses and complaints and I’m so tired of it that I’m not wanting to talk to him anymore or even see him.
–Tired Ears (Canada)
DEAR TIRED EARS:
It can be frustrating talking to someone you are trying to cheer up who is not hearing what you are saying and just keeps repeating negative thoughts. Initially when someone does this, all you can do is listen.
Also, maybe you can validate his ability to get out of it or ask him questions to make him think how he can change this pattern rather than being stuck in it. For example, you could say, “So what is one thing you can do to improve the situation?” If this doesn’t work after a while, maybe you should just save your breath until he is ready to actually hear you or make a positive change.
29 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, introducing your kid to different music, listening to a song over and over, listening to a song repetitively, music lessons, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My kid listens to the same song over and over and over again. It’s driving me crazy. How do I handle this?
–Fed up (Canada)
DEAR FED UP:
Some people like to immerse themselves in certain music before they move onto the next song or kind of music. Your kid might be one of those people. Eventually, your kid will switch to another song.
Perhaps you could help the process along by taking your kid to different concerts (some towns or libraries or music schools offer free performances) or introducing your kid to cool songs of different genres (including whatever kinds of music kids of the same age are listening to) and listening to them together and discussing what you like about each song.
You might want to ask your kid if he/she wants to take music lessons as well. Then, that ability to really listen to a song over and over and practice it and learn it thoroughly may pay off someday, whether for your kid’s enjoyment or a prosperous career in music.
Also, may I suggest headphones? Preferably the on-ear headphones, not earbuds, as that’s probably better for your child’s hearing if he/she is constantly listening to music.
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