13 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, coming out, coming out to parents, dali mama, homophobia, moral support, PFLAG, sexual identity, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Why do people freak out about gays and how do I come out to my parents?
–Don’t Know What to Do (Australia)
Dear Don’t Know What to Do:
Sometimes people are frightened by what they cannot easily categorize or anything that is different from what they think to be the norm. Life–and people–is complex but trying to categorize and compartmentalize make some people feel like they have more control over any situation if they can put something or someone in a box—male, female, heterosexual, homosexual, black, white, Republican, Democrat, etc. In reality, however, there is a lot of overlap and nobody fits neatly into one specific box.
As far as coming out to your parents, you might want to enlist a friend you trust to give you moral support, whom you can talk to and who can be there for you after you have the talk with your parents. Then, when you talk to your parents, give them space to have whatever reaction they might have. They might even already know that you are gay. The important thing is to remember that you are a beautiful and courageous person no matter how anyone reacts to you and no matter whom you love and this is something to celebrate. Check out http://community.pflag.org for resources.
Congratulations for being true to who you are. Be proud!
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12 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, agent, Amazon, ask dali mama, class, dali mama, ego-mind, end goal, fears, flexible on the details, follow my dreams, gallery, J.K. Rowling, Jeff Bezos, Judi Dench, limits, manifesting, marketing work, miracles, obstacles, practical steps, self-limiting, spiritual advice column, stay true to the vision, support from the universe, techdirt, when to quit, why does it seem like i can't succeed, work around obstacles
DEAR DALI MAMA:
We are always told to follow our joy and heart. And sometimes people really give their dreams 110% and still there is no sense of success or accomplishment. At what point do you surrender and let go of the dream and passion? Or do you?
–Giving It My All and More (Canada)
DEAR GIVING IT MY ALL AND MORE:
Your dreams and your passion serve as a compass for your life’s work. Let those passions light your path, my friend. You are in good company—J.K. Rowling’s manuscripts were rejected countless times before the publication of her best-selling Harry Potter series. Judi Dench was told she would never be in the movies but not only has appeared and starred in numerous movies but she even has an Oscar. There are countless stories like these.
Notice, though, anytime your ego-mind tries to dictate what you should do and exactly what that should look like or how and when that should happen. If the ego-mind tries to take over, let your heart once again take the lead. And keep doing everything you need to do to succeed, step by step. Enjoy the process as that in itself is often much more important than the “end goal.”
Also, as Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, advises, “Be flexible on the details, but stay true to the ultimate vision you believe in.” (source: https://www.techdirt.com/blog/casestudies/articles/20110608/23514814631/jeff-bezos-innovation-stubborn-vision-flexible-details.shtml) This will allow you to create what you want while opening to receive something even more amazing in astounding ways.
Follow your passions with awareness of your working patterns and your path. Notice the energies in which you work towards your goals. Do you have any self-limiting fears? If so, address those limits by taking practical steps to work around any potential obstacles and let go of the energy of the fear or the limits. Are there things you don’t like or are not good at that you can ask someone else to do? For example, if you’re a wonderful artist but are terrible at marketing your work, perhaps it’s time to look for an agent or a gallery to represent you, or to read a book or take a class on tips for selling your work, or perhaps time to explore and experiment with other media for your artistic talent.
Finally, set the energy of your work for you to enjoy each and every step, no matter the outcome. This often creates more space for what you’re creating to manifest and helps the energy flow more smoothly to allow miracles and support from the universe. Play and create from that space of joy and passion and see what happens. I believe in you. Keep me posted!
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11 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, children of God, dali mama, divine, express ourselves, glory, God, learning opportunities, love, manifest, meaning of life, power, self-expression, spiritual, spiritual advice column, wholeness
DEAR DALI MAMA:
What is the meaning of life?
—G.M. (Ireland)
DEAR G.M.:
That is a huge question that humankind has pondered forever and infinite tomes have been written on the topic. I will bravely do my best to answer what it means to me in a few paragraphs, however.
I believe that this planet offers us extraordinary opportunities to learn certain lessons in our life. We may specialize in certain areas (like learning how to express ourselves, learning how to manifest, etc.) but there are certain lessons many of us are learning common to humankind.
For me, life offers us learning opportunities, a chance to, over and over again, become more of who we are as children of God, in all our divine glory, love, wholeness, beauty, and power. One of these greatest lessons is love—the understanding that we are all one and that we can create so much more with love than we can when we try to create out of fear or separation. Love is one of the greatest lessons, one of the greatest teachers, and ultimately, I believe, the meaning of life—to learn how to love truly, including loving ourselves, and to understand that we are all love and to learn how to be love amidst all the distractions and illusions of the world.
As always, I welcome any comments from anyone. I would love to hear what life means to all of you. And, of course, I welcome any questions on any topic, which you can send in the comment section or email to askdalimama@gmail.com.
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10 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: ask dali mama, board game, dali mama, focus on other people, hosting a small gathering, inviting people, movie, Pictionary, shyness, spiritual advice column, take an interest in others, volunteering, Wii
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I’m very shy and don’t know what to do. My parents tell me to get over it but I don’t know how. What do you recommend?
–B.R. (United States)
DEAR B.R.:
If you feel like your shyness is getting in the way of you making friends, maybe you could start out by volunteering at an animal shelter where you can get a chance to be around people and get to know them while hanging out with beautiful animals and getting to know them as well. Or do something else where you have some specific tasks to do, which makes it easier to start up or join in a conversation. Plus then you’ll be so busy doing stuff, your beautiful spirit can’t help but shine through, words or no words.
Another thing you could do is shift the energy in which you meet or talk to people. Focus more on how the other person is and ask questions to show an interest in what they’re doing. Sometimes we can feel shy because we’re worried about not having anything to say or not being able to say the right thing or worried that people make not like us. Usually, the other person is just as worried about the same thing, so your taking an interest in them will help break the ice and open up a space for communication and developing friendship.
You can also take initiative. When you see someone else that seems shy, take the opportunity to go over and say something to them. You just might make their day. You could also invite someone over (or a small group–start by either inviting one person or three so you end up with an even number of people, which is easier) and have an activity planned, maybe playing Pictionary or watching a movie or playing a Wii game, for example. That will give you something to do and create a fun environment to get to know each other.
Just let your beautiful self shine and keep opening up that space for communicating and relating with others. In the end, you must do what feels right for you and makes you happy.
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09 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: ask dali mama, dali mama, Demon, Elyse Singleton, non-toxic tongues, online tutorials, Penguin Putnam, poem, poetry, resentment, speak, spiritual, sunday share, This Side of the Sky, workshops
DEMON by Elyse Singleton
Resentment is a fickle, blind demon cat
sent out to hunt the enemy
only to return with your hours and years
clinched in its razor, ravenous teeth.
SPEAK by Elyse Singleton
Please speak in non-toxic tongues
that deliver life-anchoring streams
of praise, erudition, curiosity,
insight, and generosity.
After all, you’re the one who hears it
first.
Elyse Singleton is an award-winning freelance journalist and novelist whose work has appeared throughout the United States, in such publications as the Chicago Tribune, Miami Herald, Denver Post, and USA Today, and in Canada, New Zealand, and Europe. Her novel, This Side of the Sky, was published by Penguin Putnam in 2002. She now leads live workshops and offers online tutorials as she completes a trilogy of novels.
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08 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, common-law marriage, dali mama, equality, gender neutral, hetero couples, husband, my sugar daddy, neutral, partner, relationship, snooky babe, spiritual advice column, stereotypes, true partnership, wife
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I have come across a few couples that have been together for years that I thought were husband and wife, but when I asked, “Oh, are you so-and-so’s husband?,” they reply, “Well, I’m her partner.” What does that mean? Why do you think some people do not refer to themselves as husband and wife?
–Curious Girl (United States)
DEAR CURIOUS GIRL:
In hetero couples, some common reasons include:
1) Some people don’t like the roles or stereotypes or energy associated with the term “husband” or “wife,” so they choose to use more neutral terms such as partner, which connotes total equality and also may imply that a relationship is a true partnership on all levels rather than anybody’s version of what that means.
2) Sometimes people avoid using the terms “husband” and “wife” for legal reasons. If it is important for them to remain separate entities legally, those terms may imply a common-law marriage, which they may not want even if they’re been together a long time.
3) It beats calling your person “Sugar Daddy” and “Snooky Babe.” Ha ha.
Thank you for your question, Curious Girl.
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07 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, energy of clutter, grounding, grounding cord, grounding home, grounding objects, spiritual advice
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Do you have any energetic tips on how to get rid of clutter?
–Borderline Hoarder (United States)
DEAR BORDERLINE HOARDER:
You’re taking the first step, asking about how to get rid of clutter, which is great.
For the next step, ground the energy of your home and all the objects in your home. You can do this by imagining a big grounding cord going from the foundation of your home, draining any energy that is not yours and no longer for your highest good into the center of the earth, where that energy will be neutralized.
Sometimes, the energy in each object makes it difficult to part with, whether that’s the energy of the person who gave it to you with love, the love itself in the object, or the energy of lack or guilt that makes it hard to get rid of. For example, “Oh, I spent so much on this that I shouldn’t get rid of it” or “Oh that person will feel bad if I give this away.” As you’re getting rid of each object, you can validate it for what it did for you, then release it to go make someone else happy in the world.
Also, notice what each object you have difficulty letting go of represents to you. If it represents the love from the giver of that object, have that love inside of you and let its physical representation go. You have that love always and you don’t need the object itself anymore.
Have fun making space for yourself and creating a home that supports you and provides you with peace and ease.
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06 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, being there, cancer, creating space, dali mama, how to help out a friend who has a cancer, listen, spiritual advice
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My 32-year-old friend just found out she has cancer. What’s the best thing I can do for her?
–A.C. (United States)
DEAR A.C.:
Well, you might want to start by asking her what she needs from you. Probably the most helpful thing you can do as a friend, however, is just to be there for her and to listen.
Often, when someone is diagnosed with cancer or some other serious illness, the people around them are in so much fear, it’s difficult for family and friends to really be present for that person because they’re either dealing with their own emotions about the news or popping out of their bodies to avoid feeling their own feelings during this difficult time. Just create a space to be with her and to listen. Let her say whatever she feels and don’t feel like you have to keep her from saying certain things like she’s afraid or sad or that she’s going to die. Just listen and hear what she has to say and keep on loving her and showing up for her, especially when the hubbub of initial activity and responses from others starts to peter out over time.
Also, be sure to take time out to care for yourself first if you’re going to be helping her out on any kind of consistent basis.
She’s lucky to have a caring friend like you.
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05 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: "fresh air", Billie Holiday, celebrities, celebrity, celebrity deaths, Cory Monteith, deadlinehollywooddaily.com, Dorothy Dandridge, dustin hoffman, energetic space, energy, energy tools, Heath Ledger, huffingtonpost.com, Janis Joplin, lainey gossip, Marilyn Monroe, media, Michael Jackson, reflection, sensitive souls, Seymour Philip Hoffman, terry gross, unconsciousness, Whitney Houston
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I was saddened by the recent death of the great actor Seymour Philip Hoffman. Is it possible that a long list of drug-related celebrity deaths, which spans the decades—Billie Holiday, Dorothy Dandridge, Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Cory Monteith, and on and on—is partly the result of our unconsciousness as a species? As sensitive and talented people, those artists perhaps were less able to withstand the ordinary and extraordinary cruelties that accompany childhood. And fame, too, brings inhumanity from a public that assumes the famous, due to their privileged status, can well absorb any insult or privacy invasion. Aren’t the mental-health fatalities among celebrities ultimately a reflection of the misery being played out in private by the rest of us? Would such deaths—be they of the tremendously gifted or the quietly unknown—decrease if we, as human beings, were not as inhumane?
–Frustrated and Appalled (Canada)
DEAR FRUSTRATED AND APPALLED:
This is an excellent question, dear reader. Yes, the same sensitivity that makes these people wonderful artists can also make these talented individuals more vulnerable to outside stresses and insensitivity.
And yes, troubled celebrities are a reflection of us as a society as well as individuals. They are just the same as the everyman/everywoman except they have to live their lives under the microscope, with the same pain anyone else would experience during life’s challenges. And surely it is even more painful when one’s divorce or public betrayal by a spouse or death in the family or other heartbreak is broadcast for entertainment consumption.
One way sensitive souls—celebrity or otherwise—can survive the public eye would be to learn energy tools on how to protect their energy so they can better cope with the energy of both the media and the masses. When you see someone who is pretty healthy and successful start to get erratic or self-destructive, it is often because they have so many of other people’s energy in their space, they begin to not be able to function until they tank out. (I know we can all think of some examples of this happening.) When I have done sessions for famous people, the thing they usually need help with is reclaiming their own energy and space and cleaning out everyone else’s.
Also, it is important for each celebrity (and all of us, really) to be really grounded and clear about their own identity and to do their own inner work so they can handle being bombarded by other’s opinions of their work, their lives, and of their worth. Only when they are grounded in their truth will they be able to survive and thrive, continuing their work no matter what anybody thinks or doesn’t think of them.
As for the public, most people are very well-meaning but don’t realize what they’re doing with their energy (i.e., getting into other people’s energetic space) or how it affects others. Perhaps a good first step for people is to read and subscribe to media that cover celebrity talent in an ethical and respectful way. As long as readers want to read garbage that tears down and nitpicks celebrities and support media that don’t respect healthy boundaries, the bottom line—the almighty dollar—will continue to grow large off the suffering and private details of the lives of the famous, be they creative types, politicians, or anything else.
Here are a few examples of ways to keep up on pop culture and artists that are classy and non-obstrusive:
And here’s an example of a short piece on Dustin Hoffman from Lainey Gossip (http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro-for-July-9–2013/27405) that is a beautiful and edifying example of celebrity reporting. Doesn’t hurt that it features Dustin Hoffman, whom I now think is an even more beautiful person than I did before watching the interview clip.
Thanks for bringing up this important topic!
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04 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, getting married, marriage, mental acuity, physical vitality, social pressures to get married, spiritual, spiritual advice, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I have spent my life as a single female. Mostly, I have preferred solitude. Yet, I have many friends and activities. But I am in my 50s, and as I get older I wonder if it is cognitively healthy for me to spend so much time alone. Should I consider attempting to acquire a husband? I want to do everything necessary to retain my physical vitality and cerebral longevity.”
—Wondering in Quebec (Canada)
DEAR WONDERING IN QUEBEC:
Thank you, dear soul, for making me laugh. I recommend attempting to acquire a husband ONLY if you actually want one. You are obviously a lovely and witty soul and could certainly procure one if you so choose. And someone as intelligent as you can certainly find other ways to retain your physical vitality and cerebral longevity—exercise, extramarital sex, and crossword puzzles, for example. Ha ha. And if you feel like you are spending more time in solitude than you feel is optimal for you, invite friends over for dinner more or spend more time with people.
Seriously, though, although society seems to like to encourage people (especially women) to wed, marriage is not for everyone. There are many forms of love and many forms of family, including the family we create, none of which you seem to be lacking. As you’re still relatively young, a lifetime of marriage for mental stimulation and qi building can seem very long if not for the right reasons—the reasons of your heart’s truest desires.
Wishing you much continued love, energy, and mental acuity.
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03 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: annoyance, annoying co-worker, ask dali mama, dali mama, healthy boundaries, learning opportunity, soul agreement, teaching
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I can’t stand one of my co-workers. She is so annoying. Her cubicle is next to mine and there’s no getting away from her. She goes on and on and talks to me while I’m trying to work. Now, even when she does nothing, I’m still annoyed. What am I to do?
—Annoyed in Cubicle Land, Corporate America (United States)
DEAR ANNOYED:
At some point in our lives, we all have at least one person that really annoys us. While sometimes we may want to scream and run away from them, this person can also be one of your greatest teachers.
Because one of the things that annoys you is your co-worker talking endlessly to you while you’re trying to work, perhaps you two have a soul agreement where she is giving you an opportunity to strengthen energetic boundaries and practice stating your needs clearly. So give her spirit a heartfelt thank you for the opportunity to learn this important lesson and the next time she rambles on at work, you could say, for example, “Excuse me. I need to get back to work,” and simply turn back towards your desk. Perhaps saying this kindly but firmly will be an opportunity for her to learn to read and respect other people’s needs as well. If she doesn’t learn from this, I’m sure she will have other opportunities to learn this lesson in even clearer ways. Ha ha.
Good luck with this. Learning how to set healthy boundaries for your time and your energy will be an asset that will serve you in all areas of your life!
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01 Feb 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: ask dali mama, attraction, chemistry, dali mama, karma, sexual attraction, spirit recognition, vibrational affinity
DEAR DALI MAMA:
How come I’m attracted to some people and not others?
—C.H. (Canada)
Dear C.H.:
Attraction between people can be complex.
Sometimes we’re attracted to people because we think they have qualities we wish we had. For example, if you’re in a career you feel isn’t that creative and don’t consider yourself creative, maybe you’re drawn to creative types. Interestingly, you probably do already have the qualities you’re attracted to inherent within you even though you may not yet recognize them in yourself or have not yet developed them in yourself.
Sometimes, too, we can be attracted to someone because we recognize them as a spirit or we just feel some kind of vibrational affinity with that person.
If you’re referring to what feels like almost uncontrollable sexual attraction, usually, it’s almost always inevitably because there’s a lot of karma (life lessons) to work through with that person. Sometimes we’re attracted to someone because we’ve left our energy with them, perhaps from another lifetime, and you as spirit are needing to retrieve your own energy.
Get to know different people on different levels in different situations to get a feel for what kind of attraction you have. Sometimes, you may not feel any attraction to someone, but the more you get to know them as a person, the more attraction you develop for them. Sometimes those are the relationships that can be long-lasting.
Play with the attraction and notice what kind of people you’re attracted to and what kind of people are attracted to you. Have fun exploring the complex chemistry between people!
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