11 Jun 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, changing my life, dali mama, moving for love, setting your life to you, spiritual advice column, taking the next step, twin flame
DEAR DALI MAMA:
First, some context. I now live in a remote area with no roads connecting to other towns. I feel I have an almost perfect life. I am part of a community-oriented society. I have good friends whose extended family I play an important role with. The neighborhood kids wave when I drive by. I get a portion of my food from the land which connects me to it and the animals. The people I work with are mostly kind and I make enough money to afford basic living needs as well as regular travel. They even opened up a small yoga studio recently and I can Skype in to my daily meditation class.
The catch? The only thing missing is the man I am in love with. We are both mid-life. He lives elsewhere. He also has a life similar to mine, “established” with strong foundations. It has been suggested that he is my twin flame. It certainly feels that way. We met at a conference and we continue to meet in cities other than where we each live. We talk almost daily and when time is available, we can discuss life, the universe and everything for hours. I have never connected with anyone like this before. Everything we read about twin flames is there. We both feel a deep void while we are apart and have a hard time staying in the moment. Instead we count down the days until our next.
My question is: If the opportunity arises either geographically or otherwise, how do I know that it’s worth trading in what I have for something more permanent with him? Should I pursue a change which would alter the existing balance I enjoy?
–Remotely and with Metta, Laicewater
DEAR REMOTELY AND WITH METTA:
Your love for each other sounds beautiful and it also sounds like you’re well-grounded.
Perhaps it would be helpful to consider making a change geographically or otherwise not as an either/or proposition but something in between, maybe even an everything/all. You will always be a part of your community, whether you are there or not, and can always return there should you leave for a while and then decide you wish to return. Or you could move but plan to make regular visits or one long trip back to your current home. If you don’t try, you will never know. For me, I’d rather take a risk, no matter what happens, and see what happens than play it safe for fear of change. No matter what happens, it will be a learning experience and you will have some wonderful times plus the invaluable satisfaction of knowing you can reach for the stars. Maybe what you will create can be far better than anything you’ve ever experienced.
Make sure, though, that if you implement some huge changes to your life that you first think about what you want in your new life and set your new life to you and your enjoyment. Don’t just fall into something that someone else has created for himself before he knew you. Think about what you want and the two of you can create something new together that works for each and both of you.
Best wishes to you.
10 Jun 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, friend is trying to get pregnant, how to share news of pregnancy, pregnancy, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My husband and I recently found out I’m pregnant. I am ecstatic but I am dreading sharing the news with my best friend, who has been trying for several years to get pregnant and even underwent in vitro recently. How do I handle this without hurting her?
–Happy but feeling cautious (United States)
DEAR HAPPY BUT CAUTIOUS:
I would just be straightforward. Perhaps you could say something like, “I just wanted to let you know I’m expecting. I hope you’ll be able to celebrate with me just as I will celebrate with you when you are expecting.” Or maybe something like, “I’m pregnant and I hope you’ll be like an auntie to the baby.”
Don’t let your worry about this news hurting your friend tamp down your own joy. That will do neither of you any good. Just feel your joy and hold space for your friend’s joy as well. Your news might indeed bring up some pain for your friend, but I suspect it will also bring up some joy for you as well, even if it takes a little while to surface.
09 Jun 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, copying, dali mama, friend flirting with boyfriend, imitation, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My friend whom I’ve known since I was in elementary school, is always somehow grabbing onto everything I have or copying everything I do two decades later. I’ll get a new dress and she’ll admire it, and the next time I see her, she’s wearing one just like it. The same color even! And now I’m dating someone. I’ve been seeing him for a few months and am just dreading introducing her to him because she always flirts with my boyfriends even though she says she doesn’t.
–Incredibly Irritated (United States)
DEAR INCREDIBLY IRRITATED:
Although I can see the irritation factor in this situation, be amused and know that underneath it all is pure admiration of you—your style, your choices, etc. No matter what she copies, she can never truly take anything away from you because it is truly yours. I imagine you’ve probably had some conversations with her about this and you might want to try again. I suspect, though, that’s one of the dynamics you’ll just have to put up with as long as you’re friends. If everything else is good between you, you will have to decide if you want to give it up over this issue or reset the energy of the imitation game to amusement and enjoy the friendship between you. Validate yourself as a true original.
As far as flirting with your boyfriends, do you trust him to be true to you? If so, know that her flirting with him does not and cannot take anything away from you.
07 Jun 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, Akashic records, ask dali mama, curse, dali mama, Egypt, palm reader, scam, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I went to a palm reader who asked for my social-security number and my mother’s maiden name and a lot of personal information in order to access the Akashic records in Egypt in order to clear a curse that is keeping me from my beloved, who broke up with me last week. Do you think this is legit or is it a scam?
–Afraid (United States)
DEAR AFRAID:
Trust your instincts. You asked because you already know the answer. Never give that kind of personal information to a palm reader or psychic or healer or anyone else for that matter. They don’t need that information to access your Akashic records. Unfortunately, every profession has people that take advantage of others’ trust, and it sounds like this palm reader may be one such person.
06 Jun 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, bamboo plant, budget, dali mama, feng shui, fountain, good fortune, love corner, spiritual advice column, tearing down walls, wealth corner, well being
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My wife is really into feng shui and wants to tear down some walls in our house and do some really expensive modifications to make it optimally good for us. Do you think this even works or is necessary?
–Doubting Thomas (England)
DEAR DOUBTING THOMAS:
Although feng shui can be very effective for shifting all kinds of areas in your life, you and your wife must balance what is important to you. Is it possible to start with basic feng shui principles such as decluttering, setting the intention to create what you want, and perhaps implementing small and easy cures such as setting a bamboo plant or a small fountain in the wealth corner or a painting or sculpture of an embracing couple in the love corner? Perhaps you could start with some inexpensive fixes before you make major changes to the structure of your house, which can be both costly and stressful.
Together, perhaps you could notice any gradual changes and then sit down and make a budget or plan for how far you want to take your feng shui improvements and do them in a way that is supportive of your well being and good fortune.
When a family makes major changes (even to create the perfect feng shui environment and layout) that they can’t afford, that in itself is a big stressor to one’s health and well being and wallet, so it’s up to the two of you to decide how to do it in a way that truly supports and nourishes both you and your environment.
05 Jun 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, female creative energy, female energy, frustrated sexually, sex, sex drive is petering out, sex life, sex life is diminishing, spicing up your sex life, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I have been dating this guy for a year and things were going really well in bed but lately things have started to peter out. No joke. I felt like we have good chemistry but am concerned about this turn of events. Do you have any advice?
–Frustrated woman (United States)
DEAR FRUSTRATED:
You might want to have a candid conversation with him. Perhaps neutrally say you loved how you connected sexually before but that you notice the energy feels different and ask him what’s going on. Hopefully he will share his thoughts with you. If there’s nothing physical (medications, a health conditions that needs to be investigated, etc.) or emotional (stress or worry at work, for example), it could be that you two can actively spice things up between you.
Sometimes, too, when men haven’t fully cleared their mother’s energy from their energetic space, once they get deeper into a relationship and the novelty between you has worn off, once he starts to hit that female creative energy in you that he experienced in utero within his mother’s body, sometimes that has quite a dampening effect on the man’s sexual energy. It’s kind of the psychic equivalent about thinking about one’s mom during sex, which just doesn’t do it for most guys unless their name is Oedipus. For most men, it’s the ultimate anti-Viagra.
Some men will subconsciously think it’s the woman’s fault or they get bored and chase the next fresh woman with different sex energy, only to discover they once again fell into the same energetic rut no matter how wonderful the woman is if they haven’t worked through letting go of their mother’s energy from their space and reclaiming their own energy.
In any case, I wish you much good sex.
04 Jun 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, art, artist's way, ask dali mama, bank teller, chocolate sauce, cooking, creative, dali mama, drawing, drawing on your stomach, food sculptures, julia cameron, practice of poetry, robin behn, smoothies, spiritual advice column, writing, zen drawing tablet
DEAR DALI MAMA:
People always tell me I am creative but I don’t see that at all. I work at a bank as a teller and do nothing creative. I’ve never been good at art or music or writing or anything creative. What’s the deal? I get so irritated when people tell me I’m creative. What does that mean?
–Frustrated non-poet, non-artist, non-creative person (Canada)
DEAR FRUSTRATED:
Well, maybe you’re creating proof you’re not creative, which would be very creative of you! Ha ha.
Bank tellers can be very creative, just as much as anyone else. Maybe some just tend to use their creative energy differently at work or on their own time.
Maybe you get irritated because there’s truth to the statement that people keep telling you. If someone went up to you and told you that you have purple hair, would you get mad? I’m guessing not. Because you know it’s not true and there’s no energy around that statement either way. Now, as far as being creative….
I believe that every single one of us is creative in some way. It’s up to each of us to find out what that means for us. What do you love to do? Start by playing—play with media you don’t normally do. Go to one of those shops where you show up and paint yourself a mug, for example. Doodle in the sandbox. Get one of those zen drawing tablets. Don’t be attached to the outcome. Just do it with the sole goal of having a great time—of playing. Then see what happens. Try the exercises in Practice of Poetry by Robin Behn or Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. Make art everywhere—create sculptures with your spaghetti or oatmeal or anything you eat. Create outrageous and delicious combinations of smoothies tomorrow morning. Doesn’t matter if it’s good or not–look at it as an experiment you can enjoy and modify over time. Draw designs on your stomach with chocolate sauce. Play! Have fun! See what else you can create while having a blast.
03 Jun 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, DJ equpiment, higher self, knowingness, matches, matching energies, priorities, spiritual advice column, Vegas
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Today this guy I barely know texted me and asked me if he should go to Vegas or get his DJ equipment (he is a DJ working at a convenience store) out of pawn. What is the deal? Why is he asking me this?
–WTF (United States)
DEAR WTF:
Good question! Notice what your matches (matching energies or matching lessons) are to him. Are you putting other things ahead of your true priorities? Are you swayed by what other people think when you need to be tapping into your higher self’s knowingness? Notice what you notice and let your higher self guide you. Congratulations at looking at this.
02 Jun 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, father's day, gifts, gifts for father's day, handmade card, handmade picture, personal gifts, photo in a frame, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
What can I get for my dad for Father’s Day that’s not super expensive?
–From a Girl (United States)
DEAR WONDERING:
I am a fan of anything personal, preferably something you make yourself. Maybe a handmade card or picture. Or take your favorite photo of you and your dad (or you and your family, including your dad) and put it in a frame with a card telling your dad how much he means to you. The love you express for him is worth more than anything you could possibly buy for him.
Have a happy Father’s Day!
01 Jun 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, artist, ask dali mama, dali mama, frank covino, oil painter, oil painting, spiritual advice column, sunday share, www.frankcovino.com
Today I’d like to share the work of artist Frank Covino, who specializes in oil paintings and portraitures. He is also an excellent teacher, teaching classical techniques that you can apply eventually on your own original work. His website is http://www.frankcovino.com. Some of my very favorite pieces of his original work are not on his website but you can check out what he’s done in case you want to take classes from him or commission or portrait.
31 May 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, dating, dating with a STD, dating with herpes, dating with STDs, herpes, medweb, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I have herpes, which I got from my ex, and I have been single a few years and I am afraid no one will want to be with me because of the herpes so I haven’t even gone on any dates since we broke up. What do you advise?
–Lonely (United States)
DEAR LONELY:
I believe that there is always love for everyone. It is part of our divine right when we are open to being loved and to loving. One thing you might want to consider is looking for online social groups. The Internet has a million groups all over the world for people of all interests—people who like to hike, foodies, people who are interested in film, and also people who have herpes. Maybe you would feel more comfortable starting out by joining a social club with others in your area who have herpes. That way you don’t have to deal with the uncomfortableness of explaining your medical situation to a prospective romantic partner.
I would also continue to meet people and date as you would normally. Take your time in getting to know a prospective partner and, when you start to get close and decide you’d both like to take things further (but well before the heat of the moment), you can let them know about your condition. If they’re the right person for you, they won’t be dissuaded and you can take precautions to protect their health. You might want to check out http://medweb.mit.edu/wellness/programs/herpes.html for further information on herpes and safe sex.
May you love wholeheartedly and be loved wholeheartedly.
29 May 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, can men and women be friends, dali mama, platonic friendship, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Can men and women really be friends?
–Curious (United States)
DEAR CURIOUS:
Yes indeed. We are each much more than our gender. Sometimes we might have to be more conscious to really see each other as individuals or, in some cases, to not let physical attraction dictate the dynamics or manifestation of our friendships, but I have many beloved, platonic male friends just as I have many beloved, platonic female friends.
28 May 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, divorce, ex badmouths spouse, family counseling, family dynamics, family therapist, love, positivity, respect, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I have been divorced for a year. I have two small children for whom I share custody with my ex-wife. Sometimes my daughter who is four will say bad things about me, which I believe she is repeating, like “That’s because you’re a bad daddy and you don’t care about any of us.” My wife says things like that on the phone to me and I think she is parroting what she has heard, but it hurts me a lot. How do I handle this?
–Hurting Dad (Australia)
DEAR HURTING DAD:
I would start by having a neutral conversation with your ex-wife, possibly with a family therapist, and emphasizing the importance for each of you to speak with respect to each other. Even though your daughter is probably parroting what she has heard her mother say to you, this will impact her thinking, possibly for years to come or for the rest of her life if this is not addressed as soon as possible.
You might want to go with the whole family as well to therapy so you can all start building a new and positive way of relating to each other in the context of the new family structure.
No matter what your ex says to your children, never say anything negative about her. If you are defending yourself, I suggest not saying things like that she was wrong or whatever, but just stating the positives as related to your own self. For example, if your daughter says that you don’t care about any of them, simply state with love that you will always love her and her sibling. Maybe you could even say that you will always love her mother because she gave birth to her and her sibling and that you’ll always be thankful for that. Talk to the family therapist, though, and get some specifics guidelines on what would be appropriate for the ages of children you have and for the particular family dynamics you’re working through.
I applaud your courage in working through this and for finding a way to improve this situation with positivity and love. In the end, love is the only thing that matters.
27 May 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, difference between a twin flame and a soulmate, karma, karmic agreements, passion, soulmate, spiritual advice column, spiritual lessons, twin flame, twin flame vs. soulmate, what is a soulmate, what is a twin flame
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I wrote to you earlier but have one more question. What’s the main difference anyway between twin flames and soulmates? And is it such a big deal to find your twin flame–or can you have an equally mind blowing and fulfilling life with a soulmate?
–Desperately Seeking M’Soulmate (Bolivia)
DEAR DESPERATELY SEEKING M’SOULMATE:
Many people do long to meet their twin flame but it isn’t terribly common to incarnate in the same lifetime with each other, nor would it always even be desirable. For example, if you came in this lifetime to develop a healthy sense of ego and individuality balanced with knowing the oneness of humanity, incarnating with your twin flame might impede that lessons you came to learn.
It is possible to create a mind-blowing and fulfilling life with a soulmate, with a twin flame, or on your own, for that matter. The more you create that for yourself, the likelier it is that you will attract someone that can share that with you and contribute equally in creating a mind-blowing and fulfilling life together.
Short answer about twin flames vs. soulmates: A twin flame is essentially considered your other half. The other half of your soul, if you will. But then again, in the bigger picture, we’re all part of the same oversoul, aren’t we? We are all one anyways.
A soulmate can be someone special (not limited to the romantic realm—a buddy, a child, a parent, etc.) with whom you have a soul agreement to help each other learn different lessons you’ve been wanting to learn. Sometimes this can feel wonderful and sometimes not. You can imagine. Who else but your soulmate would agree to help you release the worst kind of pain or grief or whatever limiting habits or energies or beliefs? Some people pray and pray to meet their soulmate and when that soulmate breaks their heart so they can release all the old grief or walls or whatever they needed to release, they forget to say thank you for having their prayers answered because they don’t know they got exactly what they asked for.
Both twin flames and soulmates come with different teachings and different gifts. For example, with a twin flame, sometimes if you date or marry a twin flame, you have to consciously feed the passion between you because you are one and the same, which doesn’t always translate to hot sex or instant passion. On the other hand, when one dates a soulmate, often there is volcanic attraction and sex between you, fueled by the fires of karma.
Any which way you choose, it’s all good in the end. Just intend to meet the person that is right for you and follow your heart and listen to your spirit.
Much love. Wishing you well on your journey.
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