29 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, jealousy, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I have been going out with a new guy for 9 months. Sometimes I get so jealous, I feel a little crazy. What is going on? I’m not usually a jealous girl.
–Borderline (United States)
DEAR BORDERLINE:
In this particular situation, it looks like there are some past-life dynamics going on. However, it is also an opportunity for you to work through the triggers that make you jealous and to release any areas of insecurity about yourself.
Start by paying attention to insecurities you have about yourself, or any ideas that you are not enough for whatever reason. For example, if you get jealous when you see someone who is vivacious and charming, notice if you are not allowing your inner sparkle and sense of humor to show. Then consciously start allowing yourself to show more of your own charm and sparkle without feeling like you are competing with anyone else. It is not about anyone else—it is more about how you feel about yourself.
Play with this and see what happens as you release any insecurities and let more and more of your inner light to shine.
NOTE TO READERS: I am offering my annual Celebrate Life special now. It is US$75 for 30 minutes or US$150 for an hour for an intuitive reading, a healing, or a combination of the two. (It is normally US$125 for 30 minutes or US$250 for an hour.) Of course, if you have just a quick question, you can always write it in to Dali Mama at no cost. I also offer free long-distance group healings the first Sunday of each month, in which case you’d email me with “FREE GROUP HEALING” in the subject line with your name, address, and healing requests. Email holdinglightproductions@yahoo.com to schedule an appointment or check out www.holdinglightproductions.com to find out more about my work. I can do appointments with you in any location via Skype, phone, or email.
28 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, balance, dali mama, responsibilities, spiritual advice column, volunteer activities, volunteering
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I’m on all these PTA committees and church committees and other charity and community organizations. I’ve been volunteering for years. Lately, however, I’ve lost interest in all these activities and am feeling cross about any and all of it. What is going on?
–Becoming a Curmudgeon (United States)
DEAR BECOMING:
Honor your feelings. Either take a sabbatical from all of your volunteer responsibilities or quit them entirely. It sounds like you need to get more in balance, spending time on yourself and your passions and hobbies instead of having all of your energy going outwards to everyone else.
Doing this will help keep you healthy and in balance, and make you even better at whatever activities you decide to volunteer with in the future, should you decide to return to any of your previous commitments. It will also create space for you to do what you want and that might end up helping even more people in an even more effective way.
Give yourself a chance to do what you want and see what happens to your perspectives and interest. You might find this leads you in a whole different direction full of new adventures and delights.
NOTE TO READERS: I invite you to write in with your own questions either in the comments section or by emailing askdalimama@gmail.com.
26 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Work
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, corporate America, dali mama, owning your authority, spiritual advice column, unwanted advice
DEAR DALI MAMA:
How do I deal with this older woman that’s always trying to give me advice? She tries to give me advice on fashion, makeup, dating, buying a house, and everything and anything else. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a 32-year-old woman, but I think 32 is old enough that she wouldn’t feel she has to tell me how to do everything. She’s not even my boss. She’s a co-worker in my department. How do I handle this?
–Annoyed (Corporate America)
DEAR ANNOYED:
Perhaps next time she offers advice, you can smile and tell her you thank you but you’ve got everything covered.
You might also want to notice if you’re not owning your knowledge and information and authority in some way. Sometimes, especially if you’re generally a mellow or low-key person, you might not convey how much you know or how much you’ve got it together because you already know you do. When you’re really embodying your power and your authority, it’s much more difficult for people, however well-meaning, to presume to tell you how to do anything you already know.
Own it!
25 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, dating, divorce, marriage, passion, rediscovering your spouse, relationship counseling, spiritual advice column, travel, when is it time to leave a marriage
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My wife and I have been married for 27 years. She is a wonderful woman but I feel so bored with my life and with my marriage. How do I know when it is time to go?
–Trying (United States)
DEAR TRYING:
Well, first you might want to have a conversation with her and maybe try couples counseling. If you’re feeling bored with your marriage, it’s quite likely she might be feeling the same way.
Talk together and see what you can both do to cultivate passion, excitement, and a fresh perspective on your marriage and on each other. Try dating each other too. Do fun things neither of you have done before. Take a class together, visit a new place, or buy a tandem bike that you can ride together to explore new places while staying healthy. You may come to know each other in a whole new way when you give yourselves a chance by giving yourself fresh situations, new environments, and novel stuff to do and discuss together. You both have probably evolved in ways you don’t even recognize and this is a great chance to get to know your new selves with fresh eyes.
Also, keep in mind that when you were first dating, you worked to get to know each other and you made plans to do fun things together. That’s got to continue. Every relationship needs work to maintain it and to help it grow and thrive.
Finally, if you feel bored with your life, you’ve got to start by addressing that. Once you feel stimulated in your own life (your hobbies, interests, learning new things, pursuing your dreams), that stimulation and enthusiasm will likely spread into your marriage.
I wish you much enjoyment of the rediscovery of both who you are and who your wife is and who you are as a couple in the present moment.
22 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships, Sex
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, intimacy, polyamorous relationships, polyamory, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Sorry. One more question. You just responded to my question about polyamory. A lot of times, when you answer questions, you talk about the energetics of the issue but you didn’t talk about the energetics of polyamory. Can you address the energetics of polyamory beyond whether both partners in a couple wish to adopt it or not?
–Still Reluctant (United States)
DEAR STILL RELUCTANT:
Sometimes one or both of the partners want to bring other people into their relationship as a way of avoiding intimacy with their primary partner, as well as intimacy with themselves on an emotional and spiritual level. If a person has not done their own inner work within themselves or their relationship work with the partner (of course these things are lifelong lessons, but it helps to do concentrated work on oneself), trying to bring external people into their relationship can be a way of avoiding doing their own inner work or on the trust and communication and other work that needs to be done within the primary relationship with their partner.
However, if both partners are doing their inner work and their work with each other and are open and honest with each other and set boundaries about what is and is not acceptable, polyamory can benefit them and their relationship if that is truly what both of them want. If they have not and are not doing their inner work and their karmic work with each other, however, sometimes bringing others into their relationship will exponentially increase and exacerbate any dynamics that are already not working within themselves or within each other.
Hope this clarifies the energetic dynamics as requested.
If any readers who have tried polyamory wish to add any input, please feel free to comment with your own experiences and lessons and insights on the energetic dynamics of polyamorous relationships.
21 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, creating space for new owners, dali mama, how to sell my house, real estate, spiritual advice column, why isn't my house selling
Our house has been on the market 2+ months. Few visitors. We have grounded the house, removed crystals, painted, recarpeted. What is the energy, reason the house is not selling?
–Lisa (United States)
DEAR LISA:
One of the reasons is that it is an intense time on the planet and in the United States to put a house on the market.
Also be aware of any urge or need to keep upping the vibration of the house, or to keep trying to improve the energy. What can end up happening is that more you do that, the harder it is for people to come in and look at the home, much less to buy it.
Another thing you can do is release any effort and control energy and old mockups/intentions for the house, and to reset the energy of the house to ease and an invitation for fun or whatever the new owners would like, and to create energetic space for whoever is the right match for the house. If you want, release any restrictions on who that right match is what kind of people they will be, and allow the universe to match the house with its right people.
Have fun playing with the energy.
17 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, artificial insemination, ask dali mama, book club, dali mama, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a single 40-year-old woman. I am considering artificial insemination. Is there anything I should be aware of energetically in this process?
–Curious (Canada)
DEAR CURIOUS:
I would suggest first thinking about what kind of child you would like, what kind of relationship with your child you would like, and what kind of child you could best be a mother to (what you can teach your child and what your child can teach you, for example).
After that, as you’re considering the various potential sperm donors (whether you know them personally or not), use your intuition and gut feeling when you’re choosing the donor, rather than going strictly by what’s written down on paper (sperm donor is a professional, or a scholar, or whatever). Let your heart and your spirit guide you based on the intention you’ve created, rather than letting your mind make the decision based on what it thinks or what’s on paper.
If your heart is set on this path, by all means follow your heart. Blessings on your journey.
16 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, book club, dali mama, fed up, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I belong to a book club and just love all of the people in there, except for one woman, who drives me crazy. She always goes on and on about her opinions, which are really not that interesting or original. She is also very much in her head when discussing the books and misses the whole point of different characters’ actions and scenes, etc. Sometimes I don’t even want to go to the book club, but that’d probably be stupid because I generally have a really good time except for listening to this one lady. What do you think?
–Almost Fed up (United States)
DEAR ALMOST FED UP:
This might be a great opportunity to practice being able to enjoy what you love no matter what else happens or who else is there. Whether it’s a book club or a movie or a friendship, just validate and enjoy the parts you love and see how that starts to increase your enjoyment of everything.
If you like, it might be a good chance as well to look at your matches with the woman who annoys you. Often, when someone really bugs us, it’s because we have within ourselves a similar energy that we don’t like in ourselves. For example, you mentioned she’s very much in her head and sometimes misses the bigger picture in a book. Do you feel like you ever get in your head and miss the bigger picture? Or do you have some other match to her? Use this opportunity to release or transform any old energies in you that no longer resonate with who you are today.
07 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, breaking up with friends, dali mama, evolving friendships, exiting friendships, friendships, personal growth, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I have had the same group of friends for decades and find myself growing weary but don’t know how to exit these friendships gracefully. What do you advise?
–Loyal friend (Canada)
DEAR LOYAL FRIEND:
Well, first of all, you might want to notice what it is about these old friendships you’re weary of. Is it the kinds of things you do with them? The energy that these old friends are sitting in? The way you are or are perceived when you’re with them? Notice what you notice and start to change within yourself the energies you’re weary of.
Next, reach out to new people and groups you feel you resonate with more and challenge yourself to do whatever is exciting and new to you.
As you change, you might be able to relate to these friends in a fresh and fun way rather than exiting these friendships permanently. Perhaps you could start seeing less of them to make space for new relationships and your own growth, but give the old relationships room and permission to evolve as you do. You might be surprised how some of your old friends step up to the new you as you change.
06 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, bridges, dali mama, detroit, fine art, hollywood, nature, photography, spiritual advice column, steve tracy
I’m excited to introduce you to Steve Tracy’s photography. He covers subjects from the entertainment industry in Hollywood to nature, architecture, Detroit, and even the moon. This artist has a gift for capturing the truest essence of his subjects, whether the subject is a building, a bridge, a horse, or a band.
You can view his work at both of these websites:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/stevetracy/
or
Steve Tracy – Fine Art
You can even purchase prints, cards, or phone cases with his work through his website. Please enjoy.
05 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, instant attraction, instant hate, instant like, instant love, karma, past life, past lives, spirit recognition, spiritual advice column, teachings
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Why do I meet people sometimes and I either love them or hate them right away?
–Wondering (New Zealand)
DEAR WONDERING:
You’re probably responding to a spirit recognition of someone that you’ve known from a past life. When you instantly hate someone upon meeting them, you’re probably responding to a challenging past life with them, perhaps one in which they did something awful to you.
When you instantly love them, you’re probably responding to a really pleasant past-life experience with that person. Although of course there is often a combination of delightful and challenging experiences we’ve had with people within various past lives. Keep in mind we’ve all done horrible things and wonderful things as part of our learning process.
When you respond with instant clothes-ripping lust for someone, you probably have some major lessons to learn with each other in this lifetime.
Whether you hate them or love them upon meeting them, it’s a sign you have growth you can do together. Sometimes the ones we “hate” instantly can be the ones here to teach us what we most need to learn AND that we have the most resistance to learning. But they are often the ones who can gift us the most valuable gifts of learning.
04 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, attracting what you want, dali mama, language, not having money, poor, power of language, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I never have any money and things never work out for me. What should I do?
–Poor and not liking it (United States)
DEAR PROSPEROUS:
For starters, you might want to consider changing your language around your situation. Language is a powerful thing and you are a powerful person. Use your words to create a foundation for the wealth and life you wish for. For example, maybe you could say to yourself, “I have everything I need in this moment and am creating even more now.” This alone will start to change your ways of thinking and will start to attract more opportunities and positive people and situations into your life.
Enjoy the process.
03 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, family finances, family vacation, finances, home trades, low-cost vacations, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My family and I are a little short financially these days. Not dangerously so, but things are a bit tight. My husband wants us to skip our annual summer vacation this year because of our finances but I think it’s important to maintain our yearly ritual of a family trip for our kids’ memories. What do you think?
–Wanting to Create Memories (United States)
DEAR WANTING:
You and your husband both have valid concerns. Is there any way you both can compromise and either take a shorter or less expensive this year so you can create memories for the family as well as having room to breathe financially? Or maybe you can create your own crazy-fun family ritual at home or camping nearby.
There are many free or low-cost ways to have fun and create family memories. You can also look into one of those sites where you can trade homes with other families online, so you can save on housing costs.
Have fun creating your own unique vacation that works for all of your needs.
02 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, being a good daughter, being a good friend, dali mama, spiritual advice column, taking care of self vs. being there for others
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I’m torn. I have a rare opportunity for work on the same day of this funeral for one of the closest friends of my parents and I am also one of oldest friends of the daughter of man who passed. I haven’t had much work lately and there’s an audition at the exact same time of the funeral. If I skip the funeral, though, I feel like a bad person and like I’m not there for my friends or my parents. What should I do?
–Torn (Canada)
DEAR TORN:
I understand your dilemma. Could you possibly go to visit with your friend and your parents later in the day after the funeral is over. Or the next day? During the actual funeral, your friend and your parents will be surrounding by other people grieving and they probably will need you even more after the busy-ness of the ceremony is over and the grief and the silence and the loss are really sinking in.
Funerals are ultimately for those who are left, not for the deceased. This man’s spirit will understand and know your love whether you go to the funeral or not. And there are other ways you can minister to and be there for your friend and your parents. Consider giving yourself permission to take care of yourself first, particularly as work has been sparse, and to be there for others the best as you can after you’ve done what you need to do to support yourself.
01 Jul 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, changing your life, dali mama, priorities, spiritual advice column, sudden death, wake-up call
DEAR DALI MAMA:
All these weird things have been happening to everyone I know right now. One person had this weird health scare. Another got in an accident. One friend who was only forty-something died in the middle of the night, no warning. And another guy’s wife suddenly up and left him. And on and on. I’m feeling paranoid. Am I next? What’s happening?
–Paranoid (Brazil)
DEAR PARANOID:
This is kind of a crazy time on the planet. Sometimes when these unexpected events happen (health scares, divorce, accidents), it’s a wake-up call to step up and be who you are and live your life according to what’s really important to you. So what is really important to you and are you living you life in accordance to your true priorities?
No need to worry. Just because someone chooses to have a wake-up call in a dramatic way doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do it the same way. Just make the changes you need to and live your life fully awake so you don’t need a wake-up call.
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