15 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, body language, dali mama, how to tell if a woman is interested in you, how to tell if someone is interested in you, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
How can you tell when you’re a guy if a woman is interested in you?
–Wondering (Canada)
DEAR WONDERING:
That is a good question. And it’s a good sign that you’re asking that question because it means you are capable of paying attention and seeing the situation from a woman’s perspective.
First, notice if she’s wearing a wedding or engagement ring. If so, move on to another potential date.
If she’s not wearing a ring on her wedding figure (although the hand could vary depending on what culture or country she’s from), I suggest smiling and saying hello.
If she smiles back and looks at you for more than a second, you could take the opportunity to ask an open question, like “How are you?” or some open-ended question related to whatever is going on around you if you’re at a party or an event or something. If she keeps talking and doesn’t mention a significant other or boyfriend or partner (when you give her an opportunity to bring them up or even ask her if she’s seeing someone), maybe you could take the opportunity to find out more about her interests. If she’s interested in music, for example, bring up a band you love and if she says something that could be seen as encouraging, like, “Oh, I’ve always wanted to see X play,” then perhaps you could ask her if she wants to go with you to see them perform.
Also pay attention to her body language. Even if she’s talking to you, she could just be interested in you as a friend or a nice person. Is she flirting at all? Flipping her hair or lingering on you with her eyes a little longer than is standard, or looking at your mouth?
Just a few ideas. The most important thing is—if she doesn’t seem interested, don’t take it personally and keep getting out there and meeting people. It’s always fun to meet nice people and you will eventually meet someone who is a good match for you if you keep getting out there. Have fun!
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14 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Sunday's Share
Tags: advice column, Artmundus, ask dali mama, dali mama, Ethiopia, Ethiopian art, Ethiopian artist, Getahun Assefa Balcha, Klimt, spiritual advice column, sunday share
Every Sunday I feature different cool things I come across. Today I would like to feature the art of Getahun Assefa Balcha.
I love Getahun Assefa Balcha’s art. Balcha is one of the contemporary Ethiopian artists featured on the wonderful blog Artmundus. Balcha’s art captures the vivid spirit and beauty of Ethiopia, perhaps with influences of Klimt.
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13 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, beings, dali mama, hearing conversations in my head, obsessors, spiritual advice column, telepathic abilities
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Sometimes I think I hear people’s conversations in my head—talking to me or talking to someone else about me. Is this really possible?
–Am I Crazy? (Canada)
DEAR AM I:
Sometimes people with strong telepathic abilities can hear people’s telepathic conversations with you, or about you. Sometimes, however, people hear other entities communicating with them—sometimes entities who do not have your or anyone else’s highest good in mind. The question is discerning which it is. I recommend you look into signing up for a clairvoyant program so you can develop the awareness to learn the difference between the two.
Don’t be afraid of this gift. Although it may seem a burden, it can be a gift once you learn to use it safely.
If the voices are telling you to do anything harmful to yourself or to others, these are likely negative entities. In this case, email me and I will refer you to people or organizations who could help you with this. But I also urge you to consult your medical doctor to see if anything medical needs to be done as well.
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12 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, bonding, dali mama, growing apart from husband, love, marriage, quality time, spiritual advice column, spouses growing apart, stale marriage
DEAR DALI MAMA: sept 12
I love my husband dearly and we have been married 17 years. I feel we’ve grown apart, however, and he has no interest in talking about or doing many of the things that have come to be very important to me. What should I/we do?
–Drifting Away (United States)
DEAR DRIFTING AWAY:
That’s important that you’re recognizing this drifting so you can both do something to address it. First, keep in mind that no one person can ever be everything that you want or have compatible characteristics on every level. For example, if you love going to the theater and your husband would rather be hung upside down for three hours than stuck in a theater for three hours, find a friend who loves the theater as much as you do and buy season tickets with that friend.
And hopefully there is at least one thing in all of the million possible things to do that you can both enjoy together. Play with the possibilities and find one or two things you can do together regularly to bond and spend quality time with each other. Since you still love him dearly, that is the most important thing and there is hope for the two of you. Ultimately, though, you both will have to do the work necessary or to decide together to let the marriage go if you’ve both truly drifted away to the point of no return.
Congratulations on doing the hard work necessary and taking a look at this.
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11 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, friendship, friendship dynamics, mothering, relationship dynamics, smothering, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I often hang out with two female friends (I am a guy). I really like them but sometimes I feel picked at, like maybe they’re mothering me. Like they critique my clothes or talk about how to find a girlfriend for me—none of which I ever asked them to do. How do I change this dynamic? Still want to hang out with them but this is getting old.
–A Man (United States)
DEAR MAN:
Good awareness for looking at this. This is quite a common dynamic in U.S. culture, where women are often trained to “mother” men or try to “fix” them in some way, even when he doesn’t need fixing.
You might want to have a conversation with both of them at the same time and let them know how you feel. You’re probably going to have to train them to start interacting with you in a different way.
You might also want to notice if this is a common dynamic in your life—with friends, with your mother, with women at work, or whatever. If so, this could be a sign that you’re learning how to own your authority and certainty. When you’re obviously in your power—wearing your clothes with confidence no matter what you’re wearing, or certain and confident in dating and your choice of partners, most people don’t have the desire (or the nerve) to try to tell you what to do when you’re really owning your choices. Play with that and see what happens in your life and with the dynamic with your two friends.
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09 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, etiquette, flaky friends, friendship, integrity, spiritual advice column, trust
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I have a friend that constantly schedules with me, then cancels at the last minute. My friend’s sweet and fun but I’m beginning to feel the friendship is not worth it. What are your thoughts?
–Feeling Not So Friendly Anymore (United States)
DEAR FEELING:
Well, first you might want to use this opportunity to clear any energetic matches you have with your friend. It sounds like you’re not the type of person to schedule then flake out with your friends. Are you just as reliable at work? Or with family? Or with things that are just for you—like exercise, quiet time for yourself, journaling, staying within your budget, or whatever it is that you need to do just for you? Observe if you have any similar energetic matches with your friend and release them if you want, and call back all your reliability for yourself.
Next, you might want to sit down with your friend and have a talk if you haven’t already. Let them know this habit bothers you and let them know some specifics of how it has inconvenienced you—for example, maybe you turned down an invitation to a concert because you had already committed to getting together with this friend.
You might want to decide on the consequence of this behavior should it recur in the future. For example, in the future, maybe either you’ll only invite them to group parties where it doesn’t matter exactly how many people there are, or maybe you will decide to just use your time and energy getting together with people who keep their commitments to you in the same way you keep your commitments to them.
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08 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Money
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, business partner, dali mama, entrepreneur, spiritual advice column, starting a business, starting a business alone
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Do you think it’s better to start a business alone or with someone else?
–Beginning Entrepreneur (Brazil)
DEAR ENTREPRENEUR:
Whether you should do a business alone or with a partner has a lot to do with your personality and how you work best.
Also, if you pick a partner, picking the right match for you is paramount. It must be someone who is compatible with your working style, someone trustworthy, someone who has skills you don’t have who can complement your skill set, etc. If you start a business with someone, it must be the right person for it to work.
Keep in mind that, no matter how ideal your business partner is, running a business alone or together will force both of you to look at all kinds of issues within yourself as you’re creating this time. Learn these lessons willingly before you’re forced to look at them the hard way.
Also, no matter how great a match that business partner is for you, it is important for you both to sit down and clarify your expectations of each other, delineate responsibilities, and decide how you would divvy the assets and profits in every possible circumstance and outcome up front so there is no quibbling over the details later. All this should be in writing so there is no confusion over the two of you remembering things differently, etc. Plus writing everything out will force both of you to really plan everything out ahead of time and think about potential outcomes and scenarios.
Check into available resources such as www.entrepreneur.com or your Chamber of Commerce or other business organizations for more information.
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07 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Sunday's Share
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, Charlie Brown, dali mama, Hey Ya, Hey Ya song, Outkast, peanuts, Snoopy, Song, spiritual advice column, sunday share
TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE: Outkast song “Hey Ya” to Charlie Brown animation
This one always makes me laugh and want to dance:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuGvBJ6-PjA
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06 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, birthday present, dali mama, present, present for boyfriend, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My boyfriend has a birthday coming up. Are there certain things that I should avoid getting him as a present—energetically, that is?
–Birthday Buyer (England)
DEAR BIRTHDAY BUYER:
Certain cultures say to avoid certain types of presents. Some say, for example, avoid buying him a knife because that signifies cutting the relationship energetically.
I say to get him whatever he would like that feels good to you to buy for him—both budgetwise and as far as what you’d like to give him. If the object feels energetically good to you to purchase for him AND he’d like it, go for it!
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05 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Sex
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, casual sex, celibate, dali mama, sex, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a single would but would like to have sex again. It’s been a long time and I’m thinking maybe I should just have casual sex rather than continuing being celibate while waiting for the right person. Your thoughts?
–Getting Nun (Canada)
DEAR GETTING NUN:
I suggest taking matters into your own hands. Ha ha. And maybe getting a vibrator.
With the different diseases floating around as well as general weirdness, you might want to be careful whom you let into your life, much less your body. Also, people (particularly women) tend to take on a whole lot of energy from their sexual partners, so it can be somewhat unhealthy energetically as well as physically.
Of course, you’ll have to decide what’s best for you, but those are factors I would consider as you’re deciding.
Also, when you’re sexually satisfied (including with yourself) and your sexual energy is running smoothly, you will tend to attract people into your life, some of whom may be a better match for you for something more than for simply sex.
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04 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Money
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, buying a home, dali mama, financial stability, renting a home, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Is it better to buy a house or to rent? I think we should rent until we’re more financially stable but my wife would really like to a buy a place and this is causing some friction in our marriage.
–Reluctant (United States)
DEAR RELUCTANT:
Whether to buy or rent depends a lot on your particular situation and your long-term goals.
Some things to think about: Buying a place can tie you to a particular area and make it difficult to easily relocate if you have a job opportunity come up in a different state or country.
Waiting till you’re financially stable before buying a home makes good sense in any case. Perhaps you and your wife can sit down and make a budget and a plan if you decide to buy a home. If you both agree on what feels financially secure and comfortable, including price ranges of a place to purchase, monthly mortgage payments, savings needed before purchasing a place, that will help you both be invested in the process of purchasing a place and feel comfortable in the plan you have created together to make that happen.
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03 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Sex
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, date, dating, double-date, eroci movies, erotic literature, flirting, hormone levels, libido, low libido, meetup.com, relationship, sexual energy, spiritual advice column, vibrator
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a woman in her mid-40s and I feel my libido is low. It’s been that way for some time. What can cause this and how do I boost my libido?
–Low Libido (Canada)
DEAR LOW LIBIDO:
First, check with your doctor. He or she might want to do some tests, including a hormone test, which can affect your libido. If your low libido has medical causes, there are always allopathic or naturopathic treatments you can try.
Also, I recommend you do more activities to foster passion in your life. If time flies when you’re painting, take a painting class. If you get an adrenal rush performing, try doing music or comedy at open-mic night at your local café. Do something that feels a little scary but fun.
If you are single, go meet new people. You can meet nice folks in groups through places like Meetup.com. Meeting new and interesting people can reawaken your spark, even if it is simply making new platonic friends. It’s also important to rev up your sexual energy to get it flowing more. Perhaps you could find some tasteful erotic literature or movies to get the energy moving. You might want to also invest in a vibrator and use it every day, even if you’re not that into it at first. It’ll at least start to get the energy moving gradually in your sexual space. The more you feed your sexual energy and space, the stronger it’ll get.
If you are in a relationship, try spicing things up together. Go out like you’re on a first date and flirt madly with each other and make each other laugh, forbidding each other to talk about the groceries or the laundry or the kids or the car needing a tune-up. Tell each other what you find sexy about each other. Maybe even go on a double-date with some new friends and see things about your partner from fresh eyes and remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place.
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02 Sep 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, books, creativity, dali mama, finishing, how to finish projects, movies, painting, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I think I am a pretty creative person. I have a lot of great ideas for creative projects (books, movies, paintings, stuff around the house), but I never seem to get anywhere although I have a bunch of things I’ve started but not completed. How do I get to the next stage?
–Expert at Starting but not Finishing (United States)
DEAR EXPERT:
Well, the great thing is you have the most difficult piece covered—having a lot of creative ideas.
Maybe you could pick two small projects and finish them to give you a boost in confidence in your ability to complete them. Later, if you’re a person that fares better with multiple projects going on, you can have one small project and one longer-term project going on at the same time. And even with the larger project, you can break it into smaller, more manageable segments (like having a goal to finish three pages a day or a chapter a week).
Also, ground yourself (email holdinglightproductions@yahoo.com to request a free exercise on grounding) and ground your creative space as well (both the physical space you work in as well as the energetic space of each project).
Notice too any anxiety or fear that comes up as you imagine having all your projects complete and let all of those fears go.
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