HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH CATS

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I liked your response yesterday to the person who was asking about how to communicate with dogs. I am a cat lover. Would you recommend the same thing for communicating with cats?

–Cat lover (United States)

DEAR CAT LOVER:

The techniques are basically the same for communicating with cats as with dogs, so you can use the techniques I mentioned in yesterday’s response. The main difference is that, when you’re communicating with cats, play with communicating and sending pictures more from your crown chakra (at the crown of your head) to their crown chakra (located at the crown of their head).

Also one interesting fact about cats is that they are excellent at holding space. Basically that means that they are very good at cleaning the energy of a space like a home or business and at holding the vibration of certain spaces.

Have fun communicating with your cat.

COMMUNICATING WITH MY DOG

DEAR DALI MAMA: I have seen animal communicators on TV. How do I communicate better with my dog?

–Not Versed in Doggie Language (Canada)

DEAR NOT VERSED:

Start practicing and do it all the time. You’ll get better over time and your dog will surely appreciate the effort. Trust the hits you get as far as communication your dog gives you.

Also, with dogs, it’s important to communicate from your heart and from the fourth chakra (center of the chest near the physical heart) as well as the fifth chakra (which is located in the throat). Also, practice communicating with mental pictures, not just with words. For example, if you’re trying to communicate to your dog you will be out of town for three nights and the dogsitter will come to the house, transmit from your mind a visual picture of you leaving with a suitcase, the dogsitter coming to the house and staying there, with the sun and moon for three cycles, then you driving up to the house and coming in and petting your dog.

Most importantly, have fun and enjoy the love vibration of communicating with your dog. Dogs are experts on love!

Note: Readers, I invite you to send in your own questions. You may email them to askdalimama@gmail.com or write them in the comments section.

Aside

MOVING FORWARD AS A SPIRITUAL TEACHER

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am regarded by many people as a spiritual teacher. In fact, it appears to be my calling. But I do not promote myself as such because I feel that some authority, particularly my own teacher, must first confer the status of teacher upon me–give me the “go ahead”–for it to be valid. This process may not be required at all, as we do see lots of self-styled guru-types pop up everywhere. This idea does keep self-aggrandizing in check effectively, however. On the other hand, I also have to consider how much people do appreciate what I offer, as well as how much fear and doubt may play their roles, too, in holding me back. Fear and doubt are as full of ego as self-aggrandizement. I wonder what advice you would give someone in this situation?

–Robert (Turkey)

DEAR ROBERT:

You sound like a true teacher to me, as you have a strong and healthy balance of the recognition of what you can offer with the self-awareness that we all have more to learn.

Being a teacher means stepping up as a leader, and that means recognizing the inherent wisdom and experience that you can share with others. Also, moving forward as a teacher in your own right (without the need for validation and permission from anybody) is the greatest proof that your teacher did a great job.

Being a true teacher, you must also model for people what it looks like to own your knowingness and power from within. That is ultimately what a true leader and teacher must do, as those at the forefront are often not recognized (and are in fact sometimes spurned) for their beliefs when they are ahead of the curve from the general public, which leaders generally are.

Shine with all of your God-given light and gifts and share with joy all that you have to teach, by example as well as in any other venue.

Note: Readers, I invite you to send in your own questions. You may email them to askdalimama@gmail.com or write them in the comments section.

Photographer Marcus Radcliffe, The Butterfly Whisperer, from Australia for today’s Sunday Share

Photographer Marcus Radcliffe from Australia travels around the world, doing photography of nature, landscape, and more. I call him the butterfly whisperer because of his beautiful connection with butterflies, the symbol of transformation. Marcus says, “This is what happens when I ask God if I can take pictures of butterflies. I say if I’m God and the butterfly’s God, then come land on this flower so I can take a picture and that’s exactly what’s happens. Even if the picture doesn’t come out clear, I tell it to come back so I can get the perfect picture and that’s the story. Happy days. Work’s a treat. Loving life. It works if you believe.”

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LOOKING FOR LOVE

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I really want to meet someone but have been single for a long time. How do a meet someone?

–Lonely (United States)

DEAR LONELY:

Start first by loving yourself and creating a life that you love. Focus on the love you have in your life—love of friends, family, etc.

Also think about what qualities you are looking for in an ideal relationship—both big picture and day-to-day details, and create space and energetically invite the right person in to show up for the relationship.

You also might want to make sure you go to places where you can meet people—clubs where you can meet people with common interests, volunteering, and just being out in the world where you can meet nice folks—friends and otherwise. Many people would really like to meet people but don’t actually go anywhere other than work and home where people can get to know them. Maybe also host some parties and you might meet people that come with friends or meet other people when you get invited to parties.

Know that you are love and you will meet the right person in divine timing.

BREAKING BAD HABITS

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do you break a bad habit?

–Wondering (United States)

DEAR WONDERING:

Well, there are specific things according the specific type of bad habit, but I’ll just answer generally and you can ask another question about a specific habit if you want to.

With habits such as smoking or caffeine or sugar, for example, start with looking at the triggers that make you want to smoke or ingest caffeine or sugar. Smoking, caffeine, and sugar are all habits that pop you out of your body. Alcohol or drugs as well.

So when you’re starting to get in touch with the emotional or psychic pain you’re holding in your body, you may want to smoke or do other things to pop out of your body as a way to cope with the pain. Unfortunately, with habits like that, the pain is still in your body when you come back in, and so the energies you want to escape only get compounded.

So instead of reaching for a cigarette or other substance, notice the energies that make you want to pop out, sit with those energies a while and do any processing you need to, and give them space to eventually release.

Have fun ending any habits that don’t support your wellness and prosperity!

HOW TO COME OUT TO PARENTS AND WHY DO PEOPLE FREAK OUT ABOUT GAYS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do people freak out about gays and how do I come out to my parents?


–Don’t Know What to Do (Australia)

Dear Don’t Know What to Do:

Sometimes people are frightened by what they cannot easily categorize or anything that is different from what they think to be the norm. Life–and people–is complex but trying to categorize and compartmentalize make some people feel like they have more control over any situation if they can put something or someone in a box—male, female, heterosexual, homosexual, black, white, Republican, Democrat, etc. In reality, however, there is a lot of overlap and nobody fits neatly into one specific box.

As far as coming out to your parents, you might want to enlist a friend you trust to give you moral support, whom you can talk to and who can be there for you after you have the talk with your parents. Then, when you talk to your parents, give them space to have whatever reaction they might have. They might even already know that you are gay. The important thing is to remember that you are a beautiful and courageous person no matter how anyone reacts to you and no matter whom you love and this is something to celebrate. Check out http://community.pflag.org for resources.

Congratulations for being true to who you are.  Be proud!

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

What is the meaning of life?

—G.M. (Ireland)

DEAR G.M.:

That is a huge question that humankind has pondered forever and infinite tomes have been written on the topic. I will bravely do my best to answer what it means to me in a few paragraphs, however.

I believe that this planet offers us extraordinary opportunities to learn certain lessons in our life. We may specialize in certain areas (like learning how to express ourselves, learning how to manifest, etc.) but there are certain lessons many of us are learning common to humankind.

For me, life offers us learning opportunities, a chance to, over and over again, become more of who we are as children of God, in all our divine glory, love, wholeness, beauty, and power. One of these greatest lessons is love—the understanding that we are all one and that we can create so much more with love than we can when we try to create out of fear or separation. Love is one of the greatest lessons, one of the greatest teachers, and ultimately, I believe, the meaning of life—to learn how to love truly, including loving ourselves, and to understand that we are all love and to learn how to be love amidst all the distractions and illusions of the world.

As always, I welcome any comments from anyone. I would love to hear what life means to all of you. And, of course, I welcome any questions on any topic, which you can send in the comment section or email to askdalimama@gmail.com.

HOW TO GET OVER SHYNESS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I’m very shy and don’t know what to do. My parents tell me to get over it but I don’t know how. What do you recommend?


–B.R. (United States)

DEAR B.R.:

If you feel like your shyness is getting in the way of you making friends, maybe you could start out by volunteering at an animal shelter where you can get a chance to be around people and get to know them while hanging out with beautiful animals and getting to know them as well. Or do something else where you have some specific tasks to do, which makes it easier to start up or join in a conversation. Plus then you’ll be so busy doing stuff, your beautiful spirit can’t help but shine through, words or no words.

Another thing you could do is shift the energy in which you meet or talk to people. Focus more on how the other person is and ask questions to show an interest in what they’re doing. Sometimes we can feel shy because we’re worried about not having anything to say or not being able to say the right thing or worried that people make not like us. Usually, the other person is just as worried about the same thing, so your taking an interest in them will help break the ice and open up a space for communication and developing friendship.

You can also take initiative. When you see someone else that seems shy, take the opportunity to go over and say something to them. You just might make their day. You could also invite someone over (or a small group–start by either inviting one person or three so you end up with an even number of people, which is easier) and have an activity planned, maybe playing Pictionary or watching a movie or playing a Wii game, for example. That will give you something to do and create a fun environment to get to know each other.

Just let your beautiful self shine and keep opening up that space for communicating and relating with others. In the end, you must do what feels right for you and makes you happy.

Poetry by award-winning novelist Elyse Singleton for Sunday’s Share

DEMON by Elyse Singleton

Resentment is a fickle, blind demon cat
sent out to hunt the enemy
only to return with your hours and years
clinched in its razor, ravenous teeth.

 

SPEAK by Elyse Singleton
Please speak in non-toxic tongues
that deliver life-anchoring streams
of praise, erudition, curiosity,
insight,  and generosity.
After all, you’re the one who hears it
first.

Elyse Singleton is an award-winning freelance journalist and novelist whose work has appeared throughout the United States, in such publications as the Chicago Tribune, Miami Herald, Denver Post, and USA Today, and in Canada, New Zealand, and Europe. Her novel, This Side of the Sky, was published by Penguin Putnam in 2002. She now leads live workshops and offers online tutorials as she completes a trilogy of novels.

USE OF THE TERM “PARTNER”

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have come across a few couples that have been together for years that I thought were husband and wife, but when I asked, “Oh, are you so-and-so’s husband?,” they reply, “Well, I’m her partner.” What does that mean? Why do you think some people do not refer to themselves as husband and wife?

–Curious Girl (United States)

DEAR CURIOUS GIRL:

In hetero couples, some common reasons include:

1)    Some people don’t like the roles or stereotypes or energy associated with the term “husband” or “wife,” so they choose to use more neutral terms such as partner, which connotes total equality and also may imply that a relationship is a true partnership on all levels rather than anybody’s version of what that means.

2)    Sometimes people avoid using the terms “husband” and “wife” for legal reasons. If it is important for them to remain separate entities legally, those terms may imply a common-law marriage, which they may not want even if they’re been together a long time.

3)    It beats calling your person  “Sugar Daddy” and “Snooky Babe.” Ha ha.

Thank you for your question, Curious Girl.

RELEASING THE ENERGY OF CLUTTER

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Do you have any energetic tips on how to get rid of clutter?

–Borderline Hoarder (United States)

DEAR BORDERLINE HOARDER:

You’re taking the first step, asking about how to get rid of clutter, which is great.

For the next step, ground the energy of your home and all the objects in your home. You can do this by imagining a big grounding cord going from the foundation of your home, draining any energy that is not yours and no longer for your highest good into the center of the earth, where that energy will be neutralized.

Sometimes, the energy in each object makes it difficult to part with, whether that’s the energy of the person who gave it to you with love, the love itself in the object, or the energy of lack or guilt that makes it hard to get rid of. For example, “Oh, I spent so much on this that I shouldn’t get rid of it” or “Oh that person will feel bad if I give this away.” As you’re getting rid of each object, you can validate it for what it did for you, then release it to go make someone else happy in the world.

Also, notice what each object you have difficulty letting go of represents to you. If it represents the love from the giver of that object, have that love inside of you and let its physical representation go. You have that love always and you don’t need the object itself anymore.

Have fun making space for yourself and creating a home that supports you and provides you with peace and ease.

WHAT TO DO FOR SOMEONE WHO JUST FOUND OUT SHE’S SICK?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My 32-year-old friend just found out she has cancer. What’s the best thing I can do for her?


–A.C. (United States)

DEAR A.C.:

Well, you might want to start by asking her what she needs from you. Probably the most helpful thing you can do as a friend, however, is just to be there for her and to listen.

Often, when someone is diagnosed with cancer or some other serious illness, the people around them are in so much fear, it’s difficult for family and friends to really be present for that person because they’re either dealing with their own emotions about the news or popping out of their bodies to avoid feeling their own feelings during this difficult time. Just create a space to be with her and to listen. Let her say whatever she feels and don’t feel like you have to keep her from saying certain things like she’s afraid or sad or that she’s going to die. Just listen and hear what she has to say and keep on loving her and showing up for her, especially when the hubbub of initial activity and responses from others starts to peter out over time.

Also, be sure to take time out to care for yourself first if you’re going to be helping her out on any kind of consistent basis.

She’s lucky to have a caring friend like you.

CELEBRITIES, SENSITIVES, AND HUMANITY

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I was saddened by the recent death of the great actor Seymour Philip Hoffman. Is it possible that a long list of drug-related celebrity deaths, which spans the decades—Billie Holiday, Dorothy Dandridge, Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Cory Monteith, and on and on—is partly the result of our unconsciousness as a species? As sensitive and talented people, those artists perhaps were less able to withstand the ordinary and extraordinary cruelties that accompany childhood. And fame, too, brings inhumanity from a public that assumes the famous, due to their privileged status, can well absorb any insult or privacy invasion. Aren’t the mental-health fatalities among celebrities ultimately a reflection of the misery being played out in private by the rest of us? Would such deaths—be they of the tremendously gifted or the quietly unknown—decrease if we, as human beings, were not as inhumane?


–Frustrated and Appalled (Canada)

DEAR FRUSTRATED AND APPALLED:

This is an excellent question, dear reader. Yes, the same sensitivity that makes these people wonderful artists can also make these talented individuals more vulnerable to outside stresses and insensitivity.

And yes, troubled celebrities are a reflection of us as a society as well as individuals. They are just the same as the everyman/everywoman except they have to live their lives under the microscope, with the same pain anyone else would experience during life’s challenges. And surely it is even more painful when one’s divorce or public betrayal by a spouse or death in the family or other heartbreak is broadcast for entertainment consumption.

One way sensitive souls—celebrity or otherwise—can survive the public eye would be to learn energy tools on how to protect their energy so they can better cope with the energy of both the media and the masses. When you see someone who is pretty healthy and successful start to get erratic or self-destructive, it is often because they have so many of other people’s energy in their space, they begin to not be able to function until they tank out.  (I know we can all think of some examples of this happening.) When I have done sessions for famous people, the thing they usually need help with is reclaiming their own energy and space and cleaning out everyone else’s.

Also, it is important for each celebrity (and all of us, really) to be really grounded and clear about their own identity and to do their own inner work so they can handle being bombarded by other’s opinions of their work, their lives, and of their worth. Only when they are grounded in their truth will they be able to survive and thrive, continuing their work no matter what anybody thinks or doesn’t think of them.

As for the public, most people are very well-meaning but don’t realize what they’re doing with their energy (i.e., getting into other people’s energetic space) or how it affects others. Perhaps a good first step for people is to read and subscribe to media that cover celebrity talent in an ethical and respectful way. As long as readers want to read garbage that tears down and nitpicks celebrities and support media that don’t respect healthy boundaries, the bottom line—the almighty dollar—will continue to grow large off the suffering and private details of the lives of the famous, be they creative types, politicians, or anything else.

Here are a few examples of ways to keep up on pop culture and artists that are classy and non-obstrusive:

And here’s an example of a short piece on Dustin Hoffman from Lainey Gossip (http://www.laineygossip.com/Intro-for-July-9–2013/27405) that is a beautiful and edifying example of celebrity reporting. Doesn’t hurt that it features Dustin Hoffman, whom I now think is an even more beautiful person than I did before watching the interview clip.

Thanks for bringing up this important topic!

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