10 Dec 2017
by askdalimama
in Sunday's Share, Uncategorized
Tags: fable, farmer and his son, zen story
https://sivers.org/horses
(I copied and pasted part below in case you can’t access it directly but his link is also available above.)
My favorite fable (塞翁失马)
2009-02-28
A farmer had only one horse. One day, his horse ran away.
His neighbors said, “I’m so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”
The man just said, “We’ll see.”
A few days later, his horse came back with twenty wild horses following. The man and his son corralled all 21 horses.
His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”
The man just said, “We’ll see.”
One of the wild horses kicked the man’s only son, breaking both his legs.
His neighbors said, “I’m so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”
The man just said, “We’ll see.”
The country went to war, and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The war was terrible and killed every young man, but the farmer’s son was spared, since his broken legs prevented him from being drafted.
His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”
The man just said, “We’ll see.”
I wrote a song with this story, too.
09 Dec 2017
by askdalimama
in Animals, Uncategorized
Tags: Animals, dogs, humane society, pets, walking
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I have a dog and I love him dearly. I consider him family and he has been with me many years—since he was 8 weeks old. However, I have a problem which I won’t go into which makes it harder and harder for me to walk him enough these days. I do as much as I can but I know it’s not enough and I feel guilty.
I think he’s depressed and it makes me worried and sad to see him sad. I want to do what’s best for my dog, despite my wanting to keep him till the end. Do you think it’s cruel of me to keep him? Would it be better to find him a new loving owner who would see to this need better? I know he would initially not like this solution, but would get used to it with time.
—Unsure (S.Africa)
DEAR U.:
Your dog is very lucky to have someone who puts his needs ahead of your own desires. Is there any way you could hire someone to walk him or do some kind of barter or trade with someone for walking services? If so, that would probably do both of you of you a world of good. If not, is there a neighbor or a friend who would walk him, at least occasionally? If enough people could walk him once or twice a week, you might be able to have his walking needs covered. You could maybe also post some flyers requesting volunteers at your local humane society if you cannot afford to hire someone.
You might also want to do some Internet research for your area—sometimes there are organizations or individuals who would love to go walking with a dog that aren’t able to commit full-time to a dog. Perhaps you could work something out with them.
I would first consider every other alternative because being with you is probably your dog’s top priority.
Best of luck, my friend.
08 Dec 2017
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships, Uncategorized
Tags: dancing, film, hiking, international societies, making friends, meeting people, meetup.com, moving to a new country, moving to a new place, throwing a party, writing
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I moved with my husband to a different country three years ago but I still don’t really have any friends here. I am shy and it is hard for me to meet people. Sometimes people have parties but they don’t invite me. How do I make friends?
—Lonely in a New Country (Hong Kong)
DEAR L.I.A.N.C.:
You may be lonely right now but I guarantee that you are not alone in feeling lonely and feeling like it is hard to meet people.
Perhaps you could look on Meetup.com to see if there are any local groups you’re interested in. They have all different topics—film, hiking, dancing, writing, international societies, and much more. Many cities also have local clubs that are listed in the paper. You could also perhaps reach out to the wives of your husband’s friends and extend a friendly hand.
If people have parties but don’t invite you, how about hosting a party yourself? It’s a great way to show your interest in developing friendships with people and you’d probably make someone’s day who is also feeling a little lonely and isolated.
07 Dec 2017
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: creative powers, creativity, dread, envisioning a positive future, worse-case scenarios
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a bit of a worrier and can get paranoid. I build and draw up worst-case scenarios in my head and over time they start to feel real. Then I live in partial dread of a future I don’t want.
Any advice you could please give?
—In My Head (Turkey)
DEAR I.M.H.:
This is something that happens to the best of us. Haha.
The facts that the worst-case scenarios start to feel real is indicative that you’re probably a very creative person. How about you use your awesome creative powers to draw up best-case scenarios over and over until they start to feel real and see what happens.
Much love.
06 Dec 2017
by askdalimama
in Money, Uncategorized
Tags: awareness, priorities, resistance, spending priorities
DEAR DALI MAMA:
How do you determine if the way you treat your money is right? I mean, how can I judge or neutrally observe my relationship to both spending and saving my money?
I have always lived a sheltered life and only have a strict family to compare myself to as regards money. My family is frugal which funnily pushes me in the opposite direction and I overspend and don’t give a fig, even when I perhaps should.
—Curious (Canada)
DEAR CURIOUS:
Thanks for your awareness on your spending habits. Often when we resist something (like our family pushing us to be frugal), we can go in the opposite direction, even when it’s not in our best interest.
Perhaps you could try making a list of your top 10 priorities—health, education, career, etc. And just for a month, write down every single amount you spend and what you spent it on. Notice then whether your spending reflects your true priorities and you can choose to make adjustments accordingly.
Notice, too, as you are thinking of spending money—in what energy are you spending it? For example, are you wanting to buy something out of a feeling of wanting to self-soothe to make yourself feel better for a moment? Or are you wanting to spend money out of a feeling of lack—like you’ll miss out and never have the chance for something again if you don’t buy that thing now? Or are you making the decision to buy something from a space of awareness and empowerment where you know you have the money and choose to buy something because you know it will add to your life’s mission and priorities.
Have fun exploring this! Thanks for being curious!
05 Dec 2017
by askdalimama
in Health, Uncategorized
Tags: compensating for other needs and desires with food, eating out, gym membership, stress eating, weight
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I love going out and eating delicious food. About 2-3 times a week and usually on my own. It’s burning a hole in my pocket and I’m gaining weight. Do you think I’m substituting food for something? Is my behaviour normal? I feel guilty for wasting money like this.
–Food Mad (S.Ireland)
DEAR F.M.:
You most likely are substituting food for something. This pattern is very common, but not a terribly healthy one. Notice if you eat more when you’re stressed. Notice if you’re eating to soothe yourself and to try not to feel the stress as much. Notice too if there are other things you’re wanting that you don’t have that make you reach for more food. For example, you might be craving love and companionship, or even just sex.
Instead of focusing on spending less on going out, focus on using more of your money to invest in things that support your well-being–your health, your dreams, a gym membership, etc. And use your money towards something that will support your happiness long-term beyond the enjoyment of a restaurant meal.
Congratulations on looking at this issue. I applaud your awareness and consciousness.
29 Nov 2017
by askdalimama
in Children, Family, Uncategorized
Tags: adoption, baby's gender, gender, gender influenced by father's genetics, genetics
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Is there any way to control whether you have a girl or a boy? Energetically speaking, that is.
—Wanting a Girl (Brazil)
DEAR W.A.G.:
A baby’s gender is generally determined by genetics, particularly the genes of the baby’s father, although there may be other contributing factors. Too bad this wasn’t known before various women in history were killed for not bearing their husbands a male heir!
However, even men who father five boys, for example, may father a girl on the sixth try.
Energetically, if you want to have a girl, one thing you could try is mocking up (visualizing as a way of manifesting) conceiving and giving birth to a healthy daughter. Keep in mind this may help but is by no means guaranteed. If you end up with a son, love the heck out of him, regardless of whether he fits the picture of what you wanted. Divine gifts come in all different packages. : )
You could also either keep trying for a girl or consider adopting one of the many beautiful girls in the world who need a safe and loving home.
28 Nov 2017
by askdalimama
in Spirits, Uncategorized
Tags: alignment with spirit, discomfort, something's not right, spirit, things don't feel right
DEAR DALI MAMA:
What do it mean to be in alignment with one’s spirit?
—Curious (United States)
DEAR CURIOUS:
Generally speaking, living in alignment with your spirit involves doing what’s right for you on a spirit level—not what’s right for others or even what’s right for who you think you are, but what’s right for who you are as a soul. Sometimes it doesn’t always fit our pictures of who we think we ought to be or even who we think we are. But when we are not in alignment with our spirit, sometimes you may sense a discomfort or something just not quite feeling right.
27 Nov 2017
by askdalimama
in Health, Uncategorized
Tags: athletes, athletics, cardiovascular health, dancing, weights, yoga, zumba
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am not athletic but I come from a family of athletes—my dad is a coach and my mom was a cheerleader and my brothers and sisters are each superstars in more than one sport. I feel I was switched at birth or am experiencing some sort of cosmic joke. How do I handle this?
—Two Left Feet (United States)
DEAR T.L.F.:
Even if sports are not your forte, no doubt you have some unique gifts you can focus on and develop. Not everyone needs to be a track star or football player or cheerleader or volleyball player.
I do encourage you, however, to find something you love doing that involves moving your body and make it your own—doing it for your strength and cardiovascular health and mobility, whether that’s yoga and zumba or dancing around in your room to your favorite songs or using free weights. That will give your body the support and attention it needs with the sole purpose of honoring and maintaining your physical vessel so you can continue to do all the things you love with ease and comfort.
Good for you for following the beat of your own drums! Have fun with it!
25 Nov 2017
by askdalimama
in Love & Relationships, Uncategorized
Tags: behavior, controlling, getting triggered, hate, hate at first sight, love, love at first sight, mannerisms, mirroring, mirrors, projection, spirit recognition
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Why do I sometimes meet people and love them or hate them?
—Regular Person (United States)
DEAR R.P.:
Sometimes we have a spirit recognition of folks in our soul group or sometimes you just sense something beautiful about that person. Sometimes when we “hate” someone upon just meeting them, that could also be a spirit recognition of someone with whom you had disharmonies. Sometimes, too, people get under our skin when they are mirroring something in ourselves we don’t like. For example, sometimes a controlling person may meet someone and get triggered by their controlling energy or behavior or mannerisms or sometimes may even simply project controlling energy onto that person, so it’s always good to look within ourselves to understand what we’re really getting triggered by through that other person.
Thanks for your question!
24 Nov 2017
by askdalimama
in Energy Techniques, Love & Relationships, Uncategorized
Tags: art, bullies, bullying, creating positive things, energy vampires, hanging out with friends, hiking, how to get rid of a spirit, medium, Meetup, meetup.com, movies, negative people, spirits, worries
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a medium and having worked on myself for forever, you would think I would be free of negative attachments (spirits). However, there is one spirit in particular that tries to upset me and it manages to do just that.
It feeds off my need for “external romantic love” and company and comes in and imitates loving energies very similar to those of my partner. It is very conniving and good at getting me off track. It also knows I get angry at its presence and plays on that. I’m losing the will to live here! I have tried EVERYTHING to get rid of it.
Being an amazing medium, can you see anything I can’t see regarding why it’s here? Maybe I’m doing something wrong as surely there’s a reason it’s still hanging around? Please help.
—On My Last Nerve (Bolivia)
DEAR O.M.L.N.:
We are all in process, no matter how long we’ve worked on ourselves (and that includes past lives).
Spirits are just like people, who are of course spirits in human bodies. There’s a saying, “What we resist, persists.” Anything we resist energetically keeps sticking around or we’ll manage to get rid of something and something of a similar vibration comes along. For example, if a student is being bullied at school, the more he resists, the more the bully may bother him and may even escalate. However, once the student learns to get neutral to the bully and starts to have more of his true power, the bully will generally find someone else to go persecute. This is of course easier said than done but it is possible with practice and retraining of your attitudes to learn to get neutral to what you are resisting.
Another example is when dealing with energy vampires, people who suck and suck and suck our energy, whether they are narcissists or people who try to ingratiate themselves, then pester to get some kind of reaction and to pull energy from you, even if it negative attention. Once you stop resisting them and give them space to be without giving them any attention, they generally tire and go suckle the energy from someone else, whether that is by charming them or creating drama or pretending to be helpless, or whatever techniques they use to suck energy.
Keep your focus on what’s important to you. Since you want love and good company, use your energy to take practical steps like joining a meetup group for a topic that interests you (hiking or art or movies or whatever) or just get a group of friends together and encourage them to bring their nice friends as well. You’ll meet people, have fun, and who knows what else? And your focus will be on creating positive things you want rather than giving your energy to this spirit or your worries or any negative people or anything else you don’t really want in your life.
Good on you for your awareness and making these changes!
23 Nov 2017
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Hello All,
It’s Thanksgiving in my home country, the United States. I have so much to be grateful for, including you all! What are some of the things you have to be grateful for?
Much love and gratitude from me!
22 Nov 2017
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized, Work
Tags: asking for a promotion, asking for a raise, getting promoted, meeting with supervisor, professional demeanor, professional image, professional wardrobe
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a 25-year-old woman and I am pretty smart and very ambitious but somehow at work, I feel like nobody takes me seriously even though I volunteer for extra assignments and do a great job. What can I do to be taken seriously at work and maybe get promoted eventually?
—Ambitious (United States)
DEAR AMBITIOUS:
It could be that your bosses and co-workers underestimate your abilities because of your age. It could also be that there may be ways you can portray yourself more seriously. For example, many people are humble even when self-confident and so may not quite be portraying their abilities fully—for example, volunteering for assignments that aren’t as visible or high-priority or even making statements but using intonation that makes those statements sound uncertain or like a question.
I would ask one of your successful friends who has been in the work force a while (preferably in a similar field) for their feedback on how you can be taken more seriously on work. They might give you their impression as far as the way you speak or dress or generally purport yourself. Then make those changes and notice how things shift over the next month or two.
Next, I would ask your supervisor for a meeting and let them know you are wanting to X, Y, and Z (be specific about what your hopes are for the next step in your career there) and ask them what you need to do to make that happen. Go prepared with a portfolio of specific things you’ve accomplished at the company and how you’ve contributed thus far.
Best of luck, my friend.
21 Nov 2017
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: female energy, gay, male energy, nosy people, straight, why do people think i'm gay
10/25
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a straight man in his thirties but people always think I am gay and outright ask if I am gay. I don’t understand it. What is going on?
—Bewildered (Straightland)
DEAR BEWILDERED:
Bottom line is it’s really not your issue to worry about. If you’re straight, then let people think whatever they want or ask whatever silly questions they want.
People have different pictures (some cultural) about what qualities a gay man may have. The truth is that every single woman runs both male energy and female energy and every single man runs both male energy and female energy. Some people run more of one than the other and the proportions of either may change in the moment according to whatever we’re doing. But let them have whatever pictures they have and think whatever they want and just live your life and enjoy it and don’t waste your thought and energy on nosy questions that aren’t really any of anyone’s business in the first place.
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