HOW TO DEAL WITH FAMILY MEMBERS WHO AREN’T SUPPORTIVE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Growing up, my younger brother and I used to be close. Now he is generally irritated with me and dismissive of anything I have to say or do. How does one deal with family members who aren’t supportive anymore?

–M.M. (United States)

DEAR M.M.:

You might want to tell him you feel like he’s been acting irritable and dismissive and ask what’s going on if you haven’t already. If he refuses to talk about it, just give him space to be where he’s at and be extra loving and validating with yourself.

A lot of people are going through really intense growth periods (feeling irritable or emotional as they’re releasing old energies such as anger and grief as they shift vibrations) and unfortunately many may often take it out on those they love the most.

Don’t try to “heal” him or the situation—just let it be and see what happens as you continue to love and support yourself while continuing to move forward on your path. It’s all too easy to falter on your own path in a subconscious effort to hold yourself back till others catch up with you. But you can make the most difference for yourself (and ultimately even your brother and others by modeling a different way of being) by continuing on your spirit’s path. Don’t wait for anyone. It’s time to be the leader in your life, so move onward with joy.

WHAT TO DO WITH AN ACCUSING GIRLFRIEND?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My girlfriend is always accusing me of cheating on her. I am a faithful woman who has been in this relationship for several years and used to be very committed but now every time she does this, it just makes me want to actually go out and cheat on her although this is not my style at all. Should I break it off? Or is there a way to fix this?

–Had It up to Here (Portugal)

DEAR HAD IT:

You might want to try relationship counseling if you have not already and she should also go to counseling on her own to address the root of her self-sabotaging behavior and fears. With the guidance of your relationship counselor or therapist, perhaps you could both set a timeframe for this behavior to change and agree on the consequences of this behavior continuing past this time.

Communicate clearly to your girlfriend how this behavior is damaging the relationship and what the consequences of this behavior entail; e.g., your leaving the relationship since it seems you’re near a breaking point.

Only you can decide if this is a deal breaker for you or not. Do the positive aspects of this relationship outweigh the frustrations of this ongoing issue? If not, perhaps it is time to go once you’ve given it your best.

Your girlfriend’s behavior is a good example of how people can create the situations they dread the most through their own resistance and fear.

Either way, let go of any resistance to her false accusations. It is natural to want to do something you’re accused falsely of but it will only hurt both of you. 

ARTIST CAROLINE DOUGLAS, TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE

Today I am blessed to feature another wonderful artist, Caroline Douglas, whose work I have admired for years. You can contact her or find our more about her work at www.carolinedouglas.com. She has taught and published extensively over the years. Her work has been exhibited and received awards and acclaim internationally.

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Ancient Sojourn, stoneware, 35″x19″x17″

Artist’s Note: “This is a piece from a dream. I dreamed I was floating above a turtle and when I woke, all I could think about was how to make clay float. I am still working that out. Turtles are my symbol for patience and the meditator celebrates our inner light and gives us permission to Be.”

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Healing Session, stoneware, salt fired. 14x10x10
Artist’s note: “Not only are hands-on healing sessions valuable, making it in clay is healing for me too.”

LOOKING FOR A PRINCESS

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have a hard time staying in relationships long. When I’m with someone, I get bored and I am often tempted to cheat although I haven’t ever done that. But I end up breaking things off quickly, maybe because of this. Part of me really wants to find my fairytale princess and part of me I think gave up a really long time ago.

–Prince Looking for His Princess (United States)

DEAR PRINCE:

Part of being in relationship means loving the person as they are, not just a fairytale idea of who they should be. Even princesses get skinny and shrivelly or gain weight, fart or burp, or get weary doing the laundry, kissing frogs, waving with little white gloves on, or the multitude of invisible thankless tasks expected of princesses.

True love (and intimacy) means holding space for someone with their own unique set of needs and desires in their divine perfection while loving them in their divine imperfection as they figure out the whole being a spirit in a human body thing—no easy task for any of us here on earth.

As far as getting bored and being tempted to cheat, meditate on the energy underneath these impulses. Is it because you have to start facing parts of yourself or parts of the relationship you don’t want to look at and you want to be with someone else as a way to escape looking at these issues? The issues you most want to run from in yourself or in your relationships are likely what will reward you most profoundly in the future if you really stop to delve into these energies and shift them. Do this and you might find you’ve suddenly become a king, not just a prince, and you may just find a queen to co-create a true and profound love and life together if that is what you want.

READERS: THANKS FOR JOINING ME HERE. IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION OF YOUR OWN, FEEL FREE TO WRITE IT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION OR EMAIL ME AT ASKDALIMAMA@GMAIL.COM.

WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND FOR LOW ENERGY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have very low energy. What do you recommend?

–Tired (Canada)

DEAR TIRED:

First of all, check with your doctor to make sure there’s nothing going on physically that needs to be addressed.

In addition to avoiding the usual suspects (sugar, excess caffeine, etc.), you might want to try calling your energy back in its divine neutral form from every place you’ve left it (with other people, your workplace, projects, various places, the past, the future, etc.) and fill yourself (your body and your aura layers, the layers of energy surrounding your physical body) with your energy in its divine neutral form. It can be amazing how much of our energy we’ve got scattered all over the place and how different we can feel when we’ve reclaimed it for ourselves.

Also, make sure to give your body enough exercise every day. Even when you feel too tired, if you can manage to get your body moving for even half an hour or an hour every day, you’ll start to feel more and more energetic.

Have fun playing with that!

WHY DO WE FEEL LONELY IN A CROWD?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do we feel alone and lonely in a crowd? 

–M.C. (India)

DEAR M.C.:

When you’re sensitive to energy, sometimes you could be picking up how other people are feeling. Sometimes, too, if you’re born with a spirit awareness of what it means to truly connect with others, individually or as a group, the physical experience of human connection may pale in comparison and feel less than satisfactory. Usually it is not necessarily because people don’t care about you, but most people are themselves learning how to truly connect with another, much less themselves.

Start by practicing a deep connection with yourself—your heart, your soul, your body, and your mind, and by loving all parts of you, and by validating yourself as “the party,” whether you’re on your own or hanging out with others. Also, keep validating the oneness of all. When you do this, you will feel less and less lonely in a crowd over time.

HOW TO SLEEP BETTER/BEINGS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have for a while been having disrupted sleep. I have to go to bed really early as I know I will be woken up at least twice by upsetting or scary dreams that keep me up for an hour or so each time.

Is it beings (lost spirits) trying to scare me as I have heard this is possible? And if so, can I do anything before I sleep to safeguard myself and stop this from happening?

–T.W. (Brazil)

DEAR T.W.:

Part of the reason you are having disrupted sleep might be that things have been super intense on the astral level (as well as on the planet) lately.

Set your space before you go to sleep, imagining putting boundary roses on each of the walls of your space and on the ceiling and floor. And fill your room with rest, relaxation, safety, and security.

Sometimes beings do try to mess with people to scare them. For this particular level of activity, try asking them what they want. Have your certainty and neutrality as you’re communicating with them. Usually they will either communicate with you or leave you alone if you’re not afraid of them. 

DOES ASTROLOGY REALLY WORK?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Do you think astrology really works?

–Skeptical (New Zealand)

DEAR SKEPTICAL:

I do indeed. I too used to be skeptical before I researched astrology. Before, to me, astrology was just those 3-sentence bits you’d read in the newspaper for each sign. I tried it out, though, to see. I was blown away by how accurate my astrologer was. She knew very specific things, including timeframes of certain key events, solely from my chart.  Of course, it depends on the expertise of your astrologer as well as your compatibility with your astrologer to some extent.  

Keep in mind, however, that astrology is your tool, not your master. Your astrological chart does not definitively dictate your entire life. There is always free will and if you don’t like the energy of a situation that you’re in or that you’re headed towards, you can always shift the energy. 

WHY DO MY BOYFRIEND AND I END UP WEARING SIMILAR COLORS ALL THE TIME?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I notice that my boyfriend and I always end up wearing the same or similar colors even though we don’t plan to. What’s up with that?

–Curious (England)

DEAR CURIOUS:

That means you both are on the same wavelength. Ha ha. That’s a nice sign that you’re tuned into each other energetically. Have fun with that!

“EVERYDAY TREASURES” (TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE)

Here’s a mini-essay I wrote for one of the Celestial Seasonings tea boxes:

Diamonds and fancy cars don’t make a life we remember. It’s the quiet picnics in the orchard, the sudden yellow of a dandelion bursting through a crack in the sidewalk, and warm sand between your toes at the beach. It’s a small child grabbing your hand, the ecstasy of puppy tails welcoming you home. These are our everyday treasures, what we take with us as we drift into slumber and what welcomes us back to each new day.

WHY DO I CHOOSE THE WRONG WOMEN?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do I always choose the wrong sort of women to date? I look back on my life and notice I always walked right past really nice and beautiful women but beelined towards the ones who would wreak havoc on my life. I am a decent looking guy with a good job and pretty smart except for when it comes to picking women. When I look back, I see that all the signs were there from the beginning but I was blind to them or something. What is wrong with me?

–Disgusted (Mexico)

DEAR DISGUSTED:

There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s called being human. Ha ha. The good thing, though, is, even as a human, you don’t have to keep repeating the same patterns of the past.

We’re often drawn to those with have karma with—perhaps one of the lessons you’re learning as a spirit is learning how to make choices in relationships that are healthier for you and to learn more deeply about what love is.

The key thing is to develop awareness, which you’re already doing a good job of since you’re asking this question instead of choosing to blindly keep following the same patterns.

The next step is sitting down and meditating on why you are drawn to women who have a chaotic effect on your life. Do you feel you’re not worthy of being with someone who is nice to you (and pretty too since you mention that) and is a positive influence on your life? If so, validate your worth and your right to be with someone who is a positive influence in your life. Do you feel like being with someone who is a disruptive influence is more exciting than being with someone you can count on? If so, maybe you need to find another source of excitement in your life. Like bungee jumping or crocodile wrestling. Ha ha.  Do you choose people that are similar to a parent (or choose the opposite of a parent out of resistance to being with someone like one of your parents)? That’s fine if you want to do that but you can choose consciously. Or do you choose these women because you think you can help them or heal them in some way because you do not feel that just being and not working for love is enough in a relationship? If so, notice that instinct when you are getting to know someone and decide if that’s really what you want in a relationship.

Congratulations on opening up your awareness so you can make choices that support and honor you.

Wishing you much love.

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WHY AREN’T MY SPIRIT GUIDES MORE CHATTY WITH ME?

Why is it that some spirit guides are so unhelpful or not forthcoming with any information at all?  As a clairvoyant, have you ever noticed this?  And if so, why do some people have guides that are continually like this and others don’t?

–Befuddled (Canada)

DEAR BEFUDDLED:

Spirit guides, like people, each have their own unique way of communicating, which can vary according to the person they’re communicating with or with what’s called for in each situation. Also, they must communicate in a way that does not interfere with their person’s free will or highest good.

Sometimes they do not explicitly communicate about things because it might create expectations where their person blocks the upcoming miracle or situation if they are told about it in advance out of nervousness or fear or simply misinterpreting the communication because of their own mental or energetic filters.

All spirits guides do communicate in some way if you ask for communication. Often, they communicate to people through their dreams where the person’s conscious, analytical mind can’t get in the way quite as much. Also, spirit guides often communicate to people but their communications might get interpreted as “having a hunch” or “getting a good or bad feeling about something” or getting an inspiration or an idea about something. Thus the person is getting the communication even if they don’t consciously recognize that their spirit guide was helping them out.

Even when you do not realize it, you are getting communication from your spirit guides as well as the information they are conveying, even if it is not on a fully conscious level. Start by communicating more with your spirit guides and getting to know each better on a daily basis, and your friendship and working relationship and communication will develop even further.

FED UP WITH FRAUD. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

We canceled and got three new credit cards over the last couple months, due to security breaches.  Since then, and particularly over the last week, two of our newly issued cards were compromised.  I can’t help but wonder if there is something funky going on energetically to make this happen, and so many times.  It seems like too much too often to be simply coincidental.  Is there anything we could do/not do to protect ourselves from financial and identity fraud? Thank you.

–Enough of This (United States)

DEAR ENOUGH:

Start by contacting your banks and your credit-card companies requesting more secure credit-card technology. Other countries already have more secure credit-card systems using chips, for example, so the technology does exist already–it just needs to be adopted in the States. The more consumers demand this technology, the quicker it’ll be adopted.

On an energetic level, two things are probably going on:

1)    You might be getting a warning from the universe now to pay more attention to your money and security-related issues, and also to get a chance to look at what are really the most important things in your life so you don’t have to undergo anything more extreme.

2)    Pay attention too to where you are losing your own identity—forgetting what is most important to you as an individual, not spending time on your own true passions, constantly sacrificing yourself and your own needs for family or friends or work. Own and reclaim your true identity for yourself so no one else can take it. And as you’re owning and rediscovering yourself, also validate and have your worth just for you!

Enjoy the process!

ARE SOULMATES REAL?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Do you believe in soulmates?

–Wondering if They Really Exist  (United States)

DEAR WONDERING:

Yes, soulmates do exist and are not some mythical idea. However, many people ask to meet their soulmate but do not understand what a soulmate is and may not even recognize them when they show up in their life. Also, a person does not have just one soulmate but a number of them.

Often people have a misconception that meeting their soulmate means happily ever after, no more work involved in relationships or love. Often, however, we have a soul agreement with our soulmate to hold mirrors up for each other, reflecting to each other the energies that no longer serve us (including those energies we’ve been running away from all our lives and are terrified of looking at)—the energies that we must release to become more of our true authentic selves. Some soulmates stay together and have very deep and profound love for each other but it takes commitment, constant growth, honesty, and a lot of hard work. Some don’t stay together, but simply catalyze a huge energetic shift then leave because it is very intense to constantly be doing this kind of deep work long term and examining of all the stuff we need to change, as you can imagine.

ENERGETIC TIP FOR TIREDNESS AFTER SLEEP

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I’m still so exhausted. Do you know why I’m so tired even after sleeping enough?

–Sleepy in Seattle (United States)

 

DEAR SLEEPY:

If you’ve addressed the standard possibilities (having blinking or other lights in your sleeping area, electronics near your bed, caffeine or alcohol disrupting sleep, or sleep apnea), try setting the intention to have a restful night’s before you go to bed and calling your energy back to you in divine form from the astral when you wake up. A lot of times when we’re working hard on the astral, we may forget to call all our energy back from the astral, which can help your energy levels a lot.

See http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/6-surprising-sleep-wreckers for more information on potential sleep disrupters.

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