19 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, be interested in others, be yourself, being authentic, dali mama, fun, meeting someone, open heart, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
What’s the best way to meet someone?
–Eager for Love (United States)
DEAR EAGER:
1) Go out into the world sometimes where you can be found so people can meet you.
2) Be yourself.
3) Be interested in others and what they have to say and enjoy genuinely getting to know different people as individuals, not just as a potential romantic partner but as a person.
4) Open your heart.
5) Have fun. When you’re having fun, others will likely respond and want to have fun with you. And remember this once you’re in a relationship: KEEP HAVING FUN.
18 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, condo association, dali mama, eyesore, havingness, health hazards, homeowners association, living environment, neighbor who doesn't care for their home, physical support system, raising the vibration, spiritual advice column, validation
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I live in a building that has six condominiums and have been here for twelve years. I am fortunate to have a good relationship with our neighbors in each unit.
Here is the situation: The condo directly above my home is a rental unit. The landlord (who has owned this unit for about 35 years) refuses to invest any money into the upkeep of this unit. The windows are broken and held together with tape. All of the appliances are very old models while the dishwasher and the clothes washer are not usable. The furnace, hot-water heater, and the bathroom plumbing are all in very bad shape. The tenant has lived without hot water or a properly functioning toilet for extended periods of time. The wall-to-wall carpeting is smelly, greasy, and stained. In short, the whole apartment is a total eyesore.
The tenant of this unit is indifferent to the condo’s condition. He is content with his living situation because the monthly rent is cheap–a bargain in this high-rent town.
I have two questions: 1) Will this condo ever be sold to a new owner who will care for the property? If so, how soon? 2) Will the current tenant (a chain smoker who has lived there for about 11 years) ever move out? If so, how soon?
Living here has been a practice of tolerance and patience, and for that I am grateful. It would be wonderful to have a neighbor who cherished living in a beautiful home. Thank you for your insight!
–Leena in Paradise, USA
DEAR LEENA:
First of all, congratulations for recognizing the teachings of your situation.
As an intuitive who believes in the power of every individual to shift the energy of a situation, I never “predict” a particular outcome or timeline because every choice we make changes the future. Likewise, every time we shift the energy in ourselves and in each situation, we are shaping the future as well.
With this in mind, there are a few practical and energetic things you can do. You might want to start by contacting the Homeowners Association or Condo Association if there is one for your condominium. If they cannot assist you, you might want to contact the city and see what they can do. Some of the conditions of the unit above that you describe may not adhere to minimum-standard health codes.
As far as what you can do to energetically shift the situation, start by releasing any resistance to the current state of the unit above and to the tenant in it, and shift the energy to neutrality and, if you can, amusement.
Next, release any energetic matches you have to the property and to the current tenant and the tenant’s landlord. For example, one energetic match could be any resistance you have towards spending money on creating a living environment that is beautiful and supportive of you. Another energetic match could be resistance to the necessity of spending money to maintain anything on the physical plane (perhaps your own resistance to beautifying your place or spending money on making repairs to your place or even resistance to the landlord’s resistance to spending money on the adjoining unit, or also things like resistance to spending money on maintaining your body’s physical health such as not wanting to pay to see a dentist or to get your hair cut or to get new glasses). Just intend to release any matches and notice what energies come up for you.
Once you’ve released your energetic matches to the property upstairs and to its tenant and landlord, fill yourself up with havingness of beauty and a physical support system for your body, your home, and for your life. Validate the beauty of your own living space and start delighting and rejoicing in your living environment and even, as you pay bills to live in and maintain or improve your living space, pay them with joy and appreciation, validating the worth of the space you live in and validating your ability to pay for a beautiful space with a heart full of joy.
Finally, keep raising the vibration of your home and the space above it by validating your home and the unit above you. Shifting the vibration of your space and the space above you will shift the energy so that both the landlord and the tenant may either match that raised vibration or may want to make them leave that vibration, making space for a new landlord and tenant that can match that high vibration. A simple example of this is when one person paints their house or plants a nice flower garden, it inspires the other neighbors to do the same thing because it looks so beautiful.
Enjoy the journey and living in paradise!
16 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, bicycling, camping, cooking classes, dali mama, enjoying active social activities, extra weight, focus on the positive, hiking, picked on, recipes, softball, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a guy who is maybe 20 pounds overweight. My wife is always on me about losing weight although technically she’s maybe 20 pounds overweight as well. What’s the deal? I think she’s hot at any weight but I feel like she’s always picking on me, especially as she’s not a stick either. And I wonder if she thinks I don’t look hot like this and if that’s why she keeps nagging me about my weight.
–Feeling Picked on (United States)
DEAR PICKED:
A couple things could be happening. She could be concerned about your health and, in an effort to push you towards your optimal health, is pursuing this goal in a way that feels very invalidating to you.
Another possibility is that maybe she wishes she was closer to her own healthy weight and is in resistance to her own extra weight that she carries. Instead of dealing with her own desire to be thinner or healthier, maybe she is directing her resistance to extra weight in your direction, which is no doubt not terribly fun.
Why don’t you reset the tone of this conversation? Like suggesting to her instead of her pointing out your extra weight, it would behoove you both to focus more on the positive and create a plan for the end goal. For example, maybe you could enjoy more fun social activities together like hiking, camping, dancing, bicycling, or joining a community softball group or something. Also you could check out some cooking classes or recipes that focus on healthy eating and make delicious concoctions together that will offer you healthy fats while helping you drop unhealthy fats and cholesterol, etc. Then you can both have fun living a healthy lifestyle together while simply enjoying yourselves.
14 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, growth, karma, lessons, losing friends, naomi horii, new perspective, shifting relationships, societal structures and templates, spiritual advice column, staying on your path, time and space away from loved ones, time and space on your own, validate relationships, vibrations
DEAR DALI MAMA:
Over the last few years, somehow I’ve lost a lot of friends I’ve had for decades. They haven’t died or anything. They’ve just disappeared from my life, even the ones that said we’d be friends forever. Some of them have disappeared without a word or explanation. What is going on?
–Confused (Brazil)
DEAR CONFUSED:
This has been an intense time on the planet, with the vibrations of the planet and of everyone on the planet shifting immensely, causing instability in societal templates and structures such as in our economic system, government, religious institutions, and elsewhere. Accordingly, we’re feeling those shifts in our relationships as well.
If you’ve asked them if anything’s wrong and they refuse to communicate, the best thing you can do might be just to let them be wherever they’re at. Keep on your path and do what you need to do in your divine vibration.
Some people you think you have lost might catch up with you later down the road. Some people maybe just had to go their own way as you go yours in order for everyone to experience the growth and lessons they came to learn in this lifetime. Sometimes we need some space and time away from our familiar loved ones in order for us to gain a new perspective and growth in a different direction before we come back together again. Sometimes, too, maybe you have finished up your karma with someone and it’s time to move on.
In every case, just validate and appreciate the time you had together and create space for each of you to be on your true paths, wherever that might lead. Create space too for you to reconnect with the ones you’re meant to reconnect with and to let go of the ones with whom you’ve completed your time together, creating space for new people you are meant to connect with to come into your lives in divine timing.
11 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, baby's spirit, birth, birth process, dali mama, full-term pregnancy, miscarriages, releasing grief, spiritual advice column, spiritual meaning of miscarriages, validation, vibration
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I’ve had two miscarriages and am heartbroken. What is happening spiritually?
–Wanting so Badly to Be a Mother (New Zealand)
DEAR WANTING:
I feel for you, love. Sometimes a baby’s spirit has to come into the physical once or more for a pregnancy or two before being able to make it through the whole birth process. Sometimes this is to help the mother release any grief or other energies she needs to let go of so she can carry the baby in a higher vibration during the pregnancy. So be heartbroken for as long as you want and just keep releasing any grief and other old energies that need to go to make room for a new vibration.
Often, but not always, it is the same baby spirit coming in that was miscarried that comes back again and goes through the full-term pregnancy and birth with you later on.
Sometimes, too, a baby’s spirit just wants to be with you in the physical even for that short blessed time together.
In either case, validate that time you had together even if it wasn’t for as long as you had hoped.
Praying for love and peace and for whatever your spirit wishes.
09 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, emotional man, emotions, female energies, male and female energies, male energies, sensitive man, social programming, spiritual advice column, stereotypes
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I’m a poet and am a very sensitive male. My female friends, and even past girlfriends when they first met me, complain that there aren’t many sensitive men and yet, I feel like they (or at least my exes) don’t actually like being with a sensitive man. Namely me when I’m feeling “sensitive” or emotional. What is going on here?
–Wondering What It Means, Really, to be a Man (United States)
DEAR WONDERING:
This is an interesting question. You are witnessing the disparity between what people say they want (or think they want) versus what they actually want. This discrepancy lies in the stereotypical pictures of what a man should be. Sometimes people say they are looking for a sensitive man who feels and expresses emotions, but they can’t handle the reality of that, which truly does men (and women) a disservice. As a culture, our society tends to punish boys and men for crying or being too emotional, and then when some males accordingly shut down their emotions and expression of these emotions in response, how can they be expected to easily break through a lifetime of rigid and unrealistic social programming?
The reality is that all of us—men and women—run both male and female energies. Each individual may run different proportions of the male and female energies, which can fluctuate in each moment as well. To try to categorize any person and make them fit strictly into rigid gender roles is both ridiculous and impossible.
Just keep being the sensitive and emotional man that you are. And when women who say they want a sensitive man complain when you’re sensitive, just laugh and ask them, “Isn’t that what you said you’re looking for?” That will help them confront their own issues or pictures around what a man should be like and help them see the discrepancies between what they say they want and their responses to what they said they want in a light-hearted but very clear way.
08 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, artists, ask dali mama, athletes, chefs, communication, conversation, creative types, dali mama, eating style, healthy lifestyle, musicians, people who do what they love, priorities about sex, relationship chemistry, sex drive, sexual compatibility, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I spent many years in a sexless marriage and am newly divorced. Could you tell me, is there a profession or professions that typically have men with more of a sex drive and/or that are good in bed? Because if there is, I want to date someone in that profession.
–SINGLE WOMAN IN HER 30’S
DEAR SINGLE:
Sexuality is a complex aspect of self so there are no hard (ha ha, yes, pun intended) rules as far as men in a certain profession. There are very sensual engineers and ardent accountants, so prevailing stereotypes are false (as are all stereotypes inherently).
I suggest having a conversation early on (before you sleep with someone but definitely way before you’re either getting undressed or are already naked!) about your individual priorities regarding sex. If you’re getting along well with someone and it’s a huge priority for you but not at all a priority for them (like maybe they’re happy having sex once a month or not at all), you both know right away that is an issue and you both have a chance to evaluate whether the compatible areas outweigh the differences in opinions about sex—frequency, quality, styles, etc.
Another option is getting a reading to determine your sexual and other compatibilities before the relationship progresses too far. But a general conversation on the topic is still important. And of course, certain factors may affect someone’s sex drive temporarily—stress, medications, illness, energy levels, etc.
When you’re on a first date, notice too how he eats. Does he savor each bite or does he wolf things down with one eye on the sports channel and the other on his smartphone?
Also, is he in a job where he can move a lot or is he in a desk job but goes for walks or goes to the gym? Men who exercise may tend to be healthier, which can sometimes translate into a healthy sex drive. Also, men who drink too much or do drugs may sometimes have impaired sexual function.
Personally, I have noticed that people who are doing in life what they love seem to generally have strong sex drives. This is true but not limited to many creative types. Some artists and musicians and chefs (yes, chefs) are quite delightful in bed. But then again, chefs or musicians or artists who are very in their heads (but the upper heads and not the lower heads—oh I am on a roll today, just cracking myself up) and more oriented to technical details without the energy or heart of the music or art or food, may sometimes reflect similar propensities in their lovemaking as well. Athletes can sometimes be a lot of fun, too, and tend to have lots of stamina.
In any case, for every person out there, there are a number of great matches for them, and of course certain partners may bring out certain aspects of their sexuality more than others simply because of the chemistry of that particular relationship combination.
For every person who finds it ideal to have sex once a month, there are a number of people who would be equally happy with this arrangement. It’s just a matter of finding someone with compatible needs.
NOTE: I invite you to write in with your own question, either in the Comments section or by emailing askdalimama@gmail.com. THanks for joining us today and every day, readers!
07 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, astral travel, camping, dali mama, inexpensive travel, low funds, Netflix, saving, spiritual advice column, trading places, travel, travel fund, www.couchsurfing.org, youth hostels
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am longing to travel the world but have no money, even really to go anywhere nearby. Do you have any suggestions for how to make this happen?
–Gypsy at Heart (Canada)
DEAR GYPSY:
Even if you don’t have funds, start saving 10% of any money that comes in and start putting together a travel fund. Don’t touch it until you have enough to take a trip. You’ll be surprised how it adds up over time.
There are ways you can do it cheaply—hostels, camping, trading places with friends in other locations, or www.couchsurfing.org.
In the meantime, go to your local library and read books about other cultures and regions and time periods and countries. You can also do the same with Netflix or some other movie subscription, allowing yourself to visit other places through film and literature and art.
A third thing you can do is to set your space before you go to sleep, intending to visit other places with your astral body. Doing it this way, you can even travel beyond this galaxy or dimension! When you wake up, write down anything you remember. Over time, you’ll probably remember more and more from your astral visits.
Happy travels!
04 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, Better Than Bouillon, cooking, dali mama, gelato, how to cook, ice cream, love, salad, spiritual advice column, tortellini, what to make for a date
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I don’t know how to cook but a potential boyfriend is coming over and I’d really like to make something special for him.
–Newbie (United States)
DEAR NEWBIE:
Since you’re just learning, start with something simple and delicious. Maybe a nice hearty soup. You can do vegetable or chicken broth (I love the Better Than Bouillon brand, which has veggie broth, mushroom broth, chicken broth, and other flavors), boil the broth and throw some refrigerated tortellini in with some nice veggies (maybe carrots and spinach) and boil it for the time recommended on the packaging. Maybe get some packaged salad from the grocery store and a bottle of salad dressing, some delicious bread, and some fresh fruit or frozen sorbet or gelato. Then it’ll be delicious and easy.
Don’t stress too much about the food. If he’s the right guy for you, he’ll the most delicious part of the meal is the the effort and the intention behind the meal.
Put lots of love in the soup as you’re stirring it. That’ll make it taste even better!
Bon appetit!
04 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, boundary roses, caretaker, dali mama, energetic roses, energy roses, exercise, feeding your spirit, grounding, meditation exercises, parent, psychotherapist, running your energy, sleep, spiritual advice column
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a busy psychotherapist with a thriving practice and many clients but, over the years, I find I am feeling less and less well over time. After a full day of sessions, I sometimes have a throbbing headache and my body is sore like I have the flu but I’m not really sick. Sometimes I even feel nauseous. Usually by Sunday evening, I’m feeling okay again but then the whole cycle starts again the next week. Is there a spiritual or energetic cause for this?
–Trying to Keep on Keeping on (Canada)
DEAR KEEPING ON:
This is actually a very common experience. Start by consulting your doctor to doublecheck that there are no physical causes for these symptoms.
Next, start taking care of your energy. Psychotherapists and other wellness providers (including caretakers, teachers, parents, or anyone that works deeply with people and/or with large groups of people) often pick up energy from the people they’re working with, resulting in physical symptoms and discomfort. When you’re sensitive to energy, this can be even more exacerbated.
You can take better care of your energy through the following steps:
- Ground and run your energy regularly (email holdinglightproductions@yahoo.com with “SEND FREE MEDITATION EXERCISES” in the subject line if you don’t know how to do this and would like to learn).
- When starting each day, imagine creating fresh boundary roses on all sides of you (in front, back, on the sides, and above and below you) and allow the roses to absorb any energies from clients and other people, instead of you absorbing them into your body or your aura layers surrounding your body. When the roses get full of energies you don’t want, you can imagine exploding them and creating a brand-new set.
- Make sure you take good care of yourself always, getting adequate sleep and exercise, and taking time to do what feeds your joy and your spirit.
Have fun taking great care of yourself, just as you do as you’re caring for others.
READERS: I invite you to send in a question of your own, either in the comment section or via email to askdalimama@gmail.com. And sorry I missed posting on March 27, which I just realized. I thought I had posted it but wi fi has been variable on the road and apparently it didn’t go through. Thanks for joining me here.
03 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, awareness, bad boys, bounding in pain, cool factor, effort, energy awareness, expanding your social horizons, feedback from female friend, good guys, lies, loving yourself, people don't like me, resistance, revealing lies, spiritual advice column, take initiative, trying too hard, why don't people like me
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a 43-year-old man and I feel like I am a good person. I am honest and hard-working and I try to be very considerate of people but people just don’t seem to like me. Women don’t want to date me and my co-workers don’t invite me out with the gang but they seem to invite most of the other fellows. I read a lot of books about how to get along with people and try to do the right things but I just don’t understand what is going on. Why don’t people like me?
–FEEL LIKE GIVING UP AND LIVING IN A CAVE (United States)
DEAR CAVEMAN (BUT PLEASE DON’T BE ONE UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO):
Please do not go live in a cave unless you particularly wish to live in a cave for some other reason than giving up.
There are many reasons why people don’t wish to hang out with wonderful folk, whether they’re male or female.
Here are some common reasons I have noticed:
- Sometimes people bond in “coolness,” which is actually sometimes pictures of pain or exclusion. They may not know how to relate to someone who just cares about other people and wants to get to know them.
- Sometimes kind and well-meaning people are not aware of what they’re doing with their energy. They may mean well but sometimes they may not be aware of energetic boundaries or responses from people. Or sometimes even other energies come through them that they’re unaware of, particularly if they tend to be ungrounded. You’ve probably seen examples of this in a person who is usually very kind but turn into someone quite different when they’re drinking or stressed.
- Some people cannot handle someone who is authentic or someone who has energies that bring out the truth. I suspect you are one of these types of people. You may not realize it, but when you’re around, all the lies start to reveal themselves, even the lies people have been telling themselves for years. This does not always make people happy and may make them run away from you. In which case, laugh and keep shining your light until you meet other like-minded souls, which you will.
- As far as women not wanting to date you, some women (although they may complain they want a nice guy) prefer the “bad boys.” And some people just can’t “have” a really great guy—i.e., they may feel undeserving of someone who really respects them or treats them wonderfully. You might even, if you’re friends with anyone you’ve dated in the past, ask them to have a coffee with you and give you feedback on what you can do to strengthen your dating and relationship skills.
- Sometimes people just try too hard. Effort is actually a form of resistance, and when you try too much, it can create a barrier between you and others. Be yourself and just keep liking people and eventually you will meet people who like you back.
- Sometimes choose a certain type that they’re not necessarily compatible with. Expand your circle of people you meet and get to know and notice what you notice.
I encourage you to start by loving yourself. Also, expand your social horizons. Join a club or something where you can meet like-minded individuals. Take initiative. Ask a few co-workers to join you for lunch one day instead of waiting to be invited to lunch. Someone with a kind heart like you is bound to make friends and meet someone. Keep the faith and know that you are made of love.
02 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, astral, astral experiences, child molestation, communication, dali mama, hypnotherapist, leaving children with a molester, leaving children with a suspected molester, molested, past-life recall, repressed memories, reputable therapist, spiritual advice column, therapist
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I am a 45-year-old man and recently I’ve been thinking that maybe my father molested me when I was little. I’m not really sure, though, but sometimes I see pieces of what are maybe memories or maybe they’re dreams. My father is still alive. Should I talk to him about this?
–Am I Crazy? (Canada)
DEAR AM I CRAZY:
This is a difficult situation but you will be able to handle it. Sometimes we may have dreams or even strange astral experiences where someone may be disguised as your father. Or even flashes of past-life recall about someone, which makes “reality” a little murky. On the other hand, it could certainly be something you experienced in this lifetime that you have repressed that is now emerging into your consciousness.
You may want to consider seeing a reputable therapist, possibly a hypnotherapist that can regress you through your childhood. Be sure you choose someone excellent as some therapists who are not qualified may unintentionally lead their patient or plant memories of what they think happened versus what actually happened.
Depending on what you learn during your explorations, you may also want to speak to your father about this, perhaps in the presence of your therapist who can help you navigate the dynamics with your father and who can also provide a neutral opinion of his response when you discuss this with him.
In any case, to be on the safe side, if you have children, don’t leave them unsupervised with your father, just as a precaution. You can do this subtly and without accusing him if you are not sure. And if you have children and have left them with your father, you might ask them general questions (being careful not to lead them in any way) about what they do when they’re hanging out with your father. You may also wish to carefully broach the subject with your siblings if you have any. This might give you some answers as well.
In either case, I applaud your courage to discover the truth and work through these energies.
01 Apr 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: accuracy in readings, advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, divine knowingness, healer, karma, programming, recognizing energies within ourselves, something a healer told me didn't resonate for me, spiritual advice column, trust, truth
DEAR DALI MAMA:
I just came back from a bodywork session and the practitioner did something where she’d ask me questions and then feel the resistance in my outstretched left arm for her answers. She told me a bunch of stuff and there were times during the session where the energy felt right, and I trusted her, and then she told me something that just doesn’t feel right. I’m still open to the idea, and trying it on, but something about it feels off.
She somehow came up with the age 17 and asked me who during that age in my life, a man in my life, was very punishing, and I had the hardest time coming up with someone. The only person remotely close was my childhood close friend, Garth, who called me a lot for support, help, etc., whenever he was in some crisis, which was a lot. Anyway, according to this woman, I have, all these years been carrying around his punishing energy because of my empathy and wanting to help him…. I am having a hard time believing this, and wonder what you think of this. I have never heard this from anyone else before.
–Sara (New Zealand)
DEAR SARA:
Congratulations on taking a look at these energies. Ultimately, the most important thing is learning to trust your divine knowingness, which will never let you down. The only thing is that sometimes it takes a while to differentiate between divine knowingness and other energies, including that of our ego or fears or resistance or whatever other energies we’re carrying, which can sometimes feel more real than our divine knowingness when we’re not in full alignment with spirit.
As you continue to look at this, a couple things to think about:
- No healer or psychic is ever 100% accurate. Even the most gifted may have an off day or be influenced by unclear energies.
- Sometimes we may not recognize certain energies within ourselves, for a little while or even for a lifetime. We may recognize them after we release the karma or release the energies or maybe get some time and distance from them, at which point we can see the energy more clearly. Sometimes there may even be a lot of energetic programming or energy in the way of us seeing various energies that have been in place for some time with good intention or not-entirely-conscious motivations such as hiding the energy so we won’t notice and so we’ll keep carrying them around so the other person doesn’t have to.
I recommend you ground out any punishment energy (and any other energies that no longer serve your highest good) and notice what comes out. Keep doing this over time and also keep filling yourself in with wholeness and validation and notice what you notice.
Enjoy the journey of exploration.
31 Mar 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: addiction, advice column, ask dali mama, being present during sex, counseling, couples' counseling, dali mama, escaping, intimacy, porn addiction, running away, sex, spiritual advice column, tantric class, therapy
DEAR DALI MAMA:
My husband of twenty-three years is addicted to porn. He watches it on the Internet, staying up late at night in his office, and hides magazines in the garage and other places. His porn life has largely replaced our actual sex life and on the rare occasion we do have sex, I feel like a live blow-up doll and it makes me sick and I’m pretty much at the point I don’t even want him to touch me anymore. We’ve had many conversations and now fights about this but nothing ever changes. What do you recommend?
–Fed up (United States)
DEAR FED UP:
Porn addiction is an extremely common problem these days in “developed” countries. Whether porn itself is a problem depends on the couple and their agreement with each other, but when it’s affecting your satisfaction with the relationship, particularly in regards to your sex life, it is definitely a problem. And your comment that you feel like a live blow-up doll suggests that he isn’t emotionally or energetically present even when you two are actually having sex.
When someone’s addicted to anything—whether it’s porn, drugs, alcohol, or work, they’re usually running away from something in themselves, so it’s important that your husband get counseling or therapy to get to the root of this issue. Once he’s been in therapy for a little while, I would recommend couples’ counseling as well. Eventually, you might even want to look into taking a tantric class together so you can rebuild your relationship and sex lives on true intimacy, helping both of you be fully present in the new vibration of your relationship.
Great job at looking at this issue in your marriage.
30 Mar 2014
by askdalimama
in Uncategorized
Tags: advice column, ask dali mama, dali mama, Diva Jones, http://www.msdivajones.com/ABOUT.html, intuitive voice lessons, London Times, opera, opera star, Ricky Beckwith, spiritual advice column, thewellthydiva.com, voice lessons
For today’s Sunday Share, I am honored to feature Diva Jones, a powerhouse voice and spirit. The London Times calls Diva Jones “a mezzo with the stature of (opera legend) Shirley Verrett, plus the flash of Dorothy Dandridge.” Make sure you’re sitting down before you listen to the recording of her singing! Click on http://www.msdivajones.com/ABOUT.html and http://www.msdivajones.com/LISTEN.html to listen. You may find out more about her at www.msdivajones.com, and you can also find out about her wellness work at http://thewellthydiva.com as well as hearing her sing a blessing song written by composer Ricky Beckwith.
Diva Jones is truly a star as well as an exceptional teacher of intuitive voice lessons, which she gives in person and on Skype. Each lesson she gives is tailored for each student, with her guides helping shape each lesson. She helps each student own their voice as the original expression. “I believe we all can sing and need that expression,” says Ms. Jones.
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